President Bob Burenheide reclaimed his rightful place behind the lectern and called the March 26, 2009 meeting of the Flint Hills Optimist Club to order in the P.P.K. Room of the Emporia State Memorial Union. Co-Chaplain Dr. Patrick Murray delivered the Invocation and led the assemblage in the Pledge of Allegiance. The only guest among this week's foaming-at-the-mouth crowd of fourteen was Linda Jones, sponsored by the aforesaid President Burenheide.
Bob led off this week's meeting by reminding the members to show up and knock down pins at the Saturday, May 2, 2009 Big Brothers/Big Sisters Bowling Classic at Flint Hills Lanes. The members were also told that former Flint Hills Optimist Eric Oldham, now of Hiawatha, Kansas, is looking to make a deal whereby our Club would take our pyrotechnic show on the road and put on a fireworks shoot in Eric's new hometown. President Burenheide said that the matter will be considered by the board at its upcoming meeting.
After passing around the shiny red bucket and collecting coin of the realm for the Optimist fight against childhood cancer, President Burenheide turned the floor over to those members of the Flint Hills Optimist Club High School All-Star Basketball Classic who were present at the meeting for the purpose of updating the Club about final preparations for the Saturday, March 28, 2009 Classic. Former President Rich Jaggard reported that the Tuesday, March 24, 2009 Classic Banquet went extremely well, thanks in large part to President Burenheide's skillful work as emcee, Parry Briggs' fine Invocation, and a delicious meal prepared by the Sodexho staff. Rich said that one hundred thirty-five guests, including thirty-four out of thirty-nine basketball players, were in attendance at the affair.
As for the Classic itself, Secretary-Treasurer Dr. George Durler posed the relevant question of what the Club might do if Emporia were buried under an early spring snowfall on March 28 as predicted. The consensus was to plunge ahead with the project in one form or another, but Former President Rich Jaggard agreed to check into the availability of the White Auditorium for some other date if the weather conditions threaten to keep attendance so low that the Club can't turn a profit on the gate. Co-Chairman Dr. Bryan Douglas confirmed that he picked up the players' shirts and plaques that Secretary-Treasurer Durler had paid for, and Bryan reminded the Club's volunteers to show up at the auditorium at least by 4:00 p.m. on Saturday to start setting up for the games, noting that the young lady who will sing the National Anthem will be there at 3:00 p.m. to stretch out her vocal cords. Former President Jaggard made the sign-up sheets available so that those members who missed last week's meeting could volunteer to perform particular tasks on Saturday night. Thanks and gratitude go out to the Classic Committee, namely, Rich, Bryan, Mike Utech, Jeff Kitselman, Parry Briggs and all other members for working diligently to put on a classy Classic in 2009.
After President Burenheide passed around a letter from the Emporia Salvation Army which asked our Club to help fund their summer camp for kids, Former President Darrell Jones told the members that preparations are nearly complete for the Saturday, April 11, 2009 Flint Hills Optimist Club/Cable One Easter Egg Hunt, but inquired about the location of our balloons, clips, and sundry other equipment needed to show local kids a good time at Jones Park on the Saturday morning before Easter. The balloon blowers agreed that they would rather use plastic clips than tie the balloon stems off, Former President Rich Jaggard told Darrell to curb his glands and that the Club's banner will be set up at the Jones Park shelter house on the morning of the hunt, and President Bob "Gas Passer" Burenheide promised to bring a tank or two of helium so that the balloons could be inflated for the kids. Bob also said that he had a number of plastic eggs that could be used at the egg mixer to contain special treats, and a call went out for Former President Joe Michaels to bring his big roll of crime scene tape to mark off the restricted areas of the hunt grounds. Former President Stan Fowler then passed around a sheaf of attractively printed promotional flyers for the hunt, and asked the members to post them in their businesses so as to encourage more participation among the populace. A round of applause goes out to Former President Jones for his expert work in setting up this year's Easter Egg Hunt.
President Burenheide, having previously presided over the meeting and sold tickets to the members, continued his work as the Club's triple threat by serving as Program Chairman and introducing Linda Jones as this week's guest speaker. Mrs. Jones has headed the Program Department of the Emporia Girl Scouts organization for the past ten years, and began her presentation by reminding the Optimists that Girl Scout cookies may be purchased at their headquarters on East Twelfth Avenue and Burlingame Road until Tuesday, March 31, 2009. The members were told that Emporia's Girl Scout group is in the eight county Flint Hills Region with about one thousand five hundred members, and is part of a statewide Girl Scout network that includes some fifteen thousand girls. Mrs. Jones said that those who participate in Girl Scouts benefit from fun but educational programs which promote the Girl Scout motto, "Courage, Competence, Character", noting that kindergarteners and first graders start with the Daisy program, then become Brownie Scouts in grades two and three, before progressing on to the ranks of Cadets, Juniors, and Ambassadors.
Mrs. Jones stated that one of the most popular activities that the local Girl Scouts unit sponsors is the annual Mother-Daughter Camp-Out at Camp Wood, a massive project that attracts upwards of three hundred girls and their mothers, and one that requires many dedicated volunteers and nerves of steel. The speaker added that she is always on the lookout for more volunteers and for funds to help underwrite Girl Scout activities. Other programs and outings that area Girl Scouts enjoy is the all-night sleepover at the Flint Hills Mall known as "Mall Madness", and a Critter Camp recently put on by our own Phil Taunton, which emphasized the importance of respecting animals and the environment, and which encouraged girls to enjoy the great outdoors. The girls also flocked to an educational presentation about animals put on by Angela Anderson of the David Traylor Zoo, a chemistry workshop by Dr. Frump of the E.S.U. Science Department which included a mystery chemical that turned out to be the active ingredient in Kryptonite, a program about various dyes, a clam dig on the river in eastern Lyon County, and a computer safety program by Dr. Edds of the Emporia State Computer Science Department, which was designed to provide helpful information to parents as well as the Girl Scouts. Mrs. Jones said that local Girl Scouting provides a well-rounded program for those who become involved, and astounded the members by claiming that even men like Secretary-Treasurer Dr. George Durler can become Girl Scouts by supporting their daughters' participation in scouting. After fielding a number of questions from the floor, Mrs. Jones concluded her presentation by receiving applause from the members and an Optimist mug from President Burenheide, who is sort of an Optimist mug himself.
Before skipping the Optimist Creed and returning to reality, a weekly drawing distributed toxic assets to the members, with $2.00 going to Former President Darrell Jones, Robert Novak winning $3.00, Dr. Bryan Douglas ignoring a bad economy and getting $4.00, and the $5.00 A.I.G. Executive Bonus Prize going to Former President Stan Fowler.
SHOW UP SATURDAY AND HELP WITH THE CLASSIC, THEN SHOW UP NEXT THURSDAY AND HELP YOURSELF TO MORE ABUSE!
With the Emporia State University Memorial Union closed for spring break, a nomadic crowd of fourteen filed into the Woodshed Room of Pizza Ranch for the Thursday, March 19, 2009 meeting of the Flint Hills Optimist Club. Undaunted by the presence of not less than five former presidents, Sheriff Ken Hanson seized the reins of power and called the meeting to order, followed by Co-Chaplain and Former President Darrell Jones' Invocation and the Pledge of Allegiance. Two guests were present among this week's gathering namely, Lukas Durler, sponsored by his father, Secretary-Treasurer Dr. George Durler, and Former President Stan Fowler's son, Matthew.
After declaring the Pizza Ranch to be a Fine Free Zone for that day only, Sheriff Hanson turned the floor over to Flint Hills Optimist Club High School All-Star Basketball Classic Co-Chairman and Former President Rich Jaggard, who passed around sign-up sheets so that members could volunteer to help with the Saturday, March 28, 2009 Classic. Former President Jaggard further announced that he would circulate the sheets next Thursday so as to give those who were absent this week a chance to pledge their lives, fortunes and sacred honor in support of the annual games. Rich emphasized that a number of Optimists will be needed as early as 4:00 p.m. that day to help set up for the event, with ticket sellers and ticket takers to be in their assigned places, clean and sober by 5:00 p.m.
The members were told that one hundred thirty-two people have made reservations to attend the Tuesday, March 24, 2009 Classic Banquet at the Memorial Union, with Co-Chairman Jaggard declaring the event officially sold out. Rich added that progress is being made in taking care of the various details that have to be nailed down in order for the games to go smoothly, thanks to the Herculean efforts of Dr. Bryan Douglas, Mike Utech, Jeff Kitselman, and all others who are working hard to prepare for the Classic. Secretary-Treasurer Dr. George Durler interjected that checks from Classic program advertisers continue to roll into the Club's coffers, Former President Stan Fowler said that our printing contractor has completed the programs, and Co-Chairman Jaggard passed out twenty or so Classic posters to be set up around town by the members. Thanks and appreciation go out to the members of the Classic Committee for their fine work in organizing this year's project.
As for the Saturday, April 11, 2009 Flint Hills Optimist Club/Easter Egg Hunt, Egg Chairman and Former President Darrell Jones reported that the candy would be picked up that afternoon, and that hunt preparations are proceeding swimmingly. Darrell invited the members to show up at Coburn's Restaurant at 7:00 a.m. that morning for breakfast before heading to Jones Park at 8:00 a.m. to set up for the hunt, and reminded the Optimists that the egg melee will take place April 11, rain, shine, sleet or snow. Promotional flyers will be distributed in area schools and to the general public next week. The members lauded Former President Jones for his excellent work in setting up this year's hunt.
After Christmas Tree Co-Chairman and Former President Bob Glover deflected inquiries about the 2009 tree lot as grossly premature, Secretary-Treasurer Dr. George Durler told the Club that Dr. Betsy Yanik has mailed letters to the principals of Emporia, Olpe, Hartford and Northern Heights High Schools, thereby soliciting nominations for the April 23, 2009 Flint Hills Optimist Club Youth Appreciation Week Banquet. Courtney Graves marked her triumphant return to the Club by inviting the Flint Hills Optimists to organize one or more teams to participate in the Saturday, May 2, 2009 Big Brothers/Big Sisters Bowl For Kids' Sake Classic, promising the members that degrees of athletic skill and sobriety will be completely disregarded for the purposes of that night's bowl-a-thon. Courtney defended her behavior in the Flint Hills Lanes parking lot after the 2008 bowling bash, told the members that the assault on the pins will start at 6:00 p.m. on May 2, and that the event will feature a western motif.
Phil Taunton then advised the members that Beau Arndt Appreciation Day will take place September 19, 2009 at Camp Alexander, with the event being organized as an attempt to lure area children away from the computers and television sets and to encourage them to paddle canoes, shoot air rifles, try their hands at archery, and generally to enjoy the great outdoors and healthy activities therein.
After expressing hope that a representative of the local Girl Scouts organization will address the Club at next Thursday's meeting, Sheriff Hanson declared the meeting over without a drawing or recitation of the Optimist Creed, with the members free to grub up on more Pizza Ranch vittles or go back to work.
SPRING BREAK IS OVER! RETURN TO THE E.S.U. MEMORIAL UNION NEXT THURSDAY AND SIGN UP TO HELP WITH THE BASKETBALL CLASSIC, OR ELSE FIND YOURSELF DECLARED TO BE A PARIAH IN A CLUB OF PARIAHS!
A small but calamitous crowd of ten rattled around inside the K.S.T.C. Room of the Emporia State University Memorial Union, as Former President Bob Glover filled the leadership void in the absence of President Bob Burenheide and called the March 12, 2009 meeting of the Flint Hills Optimist Club to order. Bob worked overtime by serving as Co-Chaplain, thereby delivering the Invocation and leading the group in the Pledge of Allegiance. This week's only guest was Garin Higgins, sponsored by Former President Rich Jaggard.
In preliminary Club business, Secretary-Treasurer Dr. George Durler reported that sales of ads in the Flint Hills Optimist Club High School All-Star Basketball Classic lag behind last year's totals and this year's projected goal. Former President Stan Fowler suggested consideration of some underhanded tactics to fill the Club's coffers, recounting a story about how Henry Ford got bamboozled into donating $50,000 toward the construction of a hospital in Ireland back in the days when $50,000 was real money.
The members were reminded to sign up to help with the myriad tasks associated with the March 28, 2009 Classic, and with the Saturday, April 11, 2009 Flint Hills Optimist Club/Cable One Easter Egg Hunt, both events to take place regardless of weather conditions. Dr. Betsy Yanik told the members that the banquet room has been reserved for the April 23, 2009 Flint Hills Optimist Club Youth Appreciation Week Luncheon, at which Emporia Area Chamber of Commerce C.E.O. Jeanine McKenna will be the guest speaker, and that the next step is to send letters to area high school principals to encourage them to nominate seniors to be honored at the banquet.
Former President Glover then turned the lectern over to Program Chairman and Former President Rich Jaggard, who introduced Emporia State University Head Football Coach Garin Higgins as this week's guest speaker. Coach Higgins told the members that 2009 will be his third season at the helm of the Hornet football team, and that this year's squad will be very young, with only six seniors taking the field this fall. Coach Higgins said that this year's recruiting efforts netted twenty-seven freshmen, including Josh Klumpe of Olpe High School and Quarterback Kenny Bronson of Northern Heights, the latter being a sleeper from a small school who greatly impressed the E.S.U. coaching staff at a workout with his arm strength and foot speed. Other freshmen recruited from area high schools are Michael Luthi, a two-way standout from Madison High who also won a scholarship from the business school at Emporia State, and Ryan Louia, a star defensive lineman from Burlington. Coach Higgins described the uphill battle that he faces in competing with junior colleges for blue chip high school players, noting that the jucos have far more scholarships available than E-State.
The coach stated that spring workouts started on March 11 in the coldest weather he has encountered for the first day of spring drills, and will continue for fifteen days with workouts on Monday, Wednesday and Friday and scrimmages on Saturday. The spring schedule will culminate with the annual spring game on Friday, April 17, 2009, the day before the golf tournament which is held each spring for E.S.U. football stars from years past. Despite his team's youth, Coach Higgins expressed pleasure that after two years at Emporia State, his roster is now populated with players whom he has recruited. After the spring semester ends, roughly 80% of the Hornet football players will stay in town for summer workouts and physical training, although Coach Higgins acknowledged that the economic downturn will make it more difficult for his athletes to land the jobs which would allow them to stay in town over the summer. The speaker added that unlike junior colleges, he has no scholarships available to pay for school expenses for those players who want to attend class during the summer months.
The coach said that his staff for 2009 includes two new members, Matt Walter, who played and served as an assistant for Coach Higgins at Northwest Oklahoma, and who will be the wide receivers coach and be in charge of strength and conditioning this year, and Bryce Saia, who formerly was on his father's staff at Butler County Junior College and who has valuable contacts in the strong Jayhawk JUCO Conference. Coach Higgins told the Optimists that recruiting is now a year-round venture, and cited his young but talented defensive secondary as one of the most promising aspects of the 2009 Hornet team. The coach added that Andre Sloan-El has a chance to be an outstanding quarterback if he can stay healthy and maintain consistency, and that all of his young players from eight man high school programs will be red-shirted this year so that they can develop physically and learn the Hornet offensive and defensive systems. After answering questions from the audience, Coach Higgins invited the public to attend the spring workouts and scrimmages, as well as the annual game on April 17, and received enthusiastic applause for his enlightening presentation.
For the first time in recorded Club history, no one lost money in the drawing, primarily because no drawing was held. Recitation of the Optimist Creed was waived and the members just faded away
REMEMBER THAT THE EMPORIA STATE UNIVERSITY MEMORIAL UNION WILL BE CLOSED FOR SPRING BREAK NEXT WEEK--HELP SPREAD OPTIMIST CHAOS AROUND THE COMMUNITY BY CONGREGATING AT PIZZA RANCH FOR THE MARCH 19 MEETING, AND PLAN ON HELPING WITH THE BASKETBALL CLASSIC ON MARCH 28!
Eighteen verbal browbeaters and a guest were on hand as President Bob Burenheide called the March 5, 2009 meeting of the Flint Hills Optimist Club to order, with Co-Chaplain and Former President Bob Glover delivering the Invocation and leading the attendees in the Pledge of Allegiance. This week's only guest was Bob Fornelli, sponsored by President Burenheide.
After Sheriff Ken Hanson fined the Farm Credit Optimists, Parry Briggs and Mike Utech, for failing to wear their nametags, Ken went into extra innings by fining the late arriving Kayla Oney for the same offense before she could even retrieve her badge from the lectern. Secretary-Treasurer Dr. George Durler gallantly paid Kayla's fine, but drew the line when Sheriff Hanson slapped another assessment on her for a buzzing cell phone. Kayla gave Ken a dollar bill and a look that froze his beef burgundy.
After passing around the famous Little Red Bucket to collect funds for childhood cancer research, President Burenheide reported that the board met on March 3, 2009 and heard that plans have been made by Secretary-Treasurer Dr. George Durler and Janna Stegmaier for the Youth Appreciation Week banquet to be held on Thursday, April 23, 2009. Former President Rich Jaggard agreed to look into updating the Optimist signs that grace the entrances to Emporia, and the board approved financial donations in support of the post-prom and after-graduation parties at Olpe, Emporia, and Northern Heights High Schools. The directors also appropriated $500 for youth football and $125 for summer baseball leagues, both operated by the Emporia Recreation Commission, and contributed $50 to the American Legion for 2009 Girls' State.
As for upcoming meetings, Ken Hanson will bring Jeanine McKenna of the Chamber of Commerce either next week, the week after that, or both, and E.S.U. Head Football Coach Garin Higgins will speak at an upcoming meeting. A repressive Sheriff Ken Hanson fined various members for applauding when President Burenheide informed the Club that he'll be absent for the next two Thursdays. Plans were also made for the Thursday, March 19, 2009 regular luncheon meeting to be held at Pizza Ranch, since the Emporia State Memorial Union will be closed for spring break that week. Former President Rich Jaggard was fined for suggesting that it would be as convenient to meet at the New Breck Cafe in Americus or Red Lobster in Topeka, and Mike Utech lost money to Sheriff Hanson for complaining that the Frontier Farm Credit conference room wasn't considered as a venue for the March 19 get-together.
After Kayla Oney invited the Club to attend her farewell reception that afternoon at the Main Street office, President Burenheide doubled as Program Chairman by introducing Emporia State University Head Baseball Coach Bob Fornelli as this week's guest speaker. In his sixth season at the helm of the E.S.U. baseball program, Coach Fornelli expressed pleasure at the caliber of players that he has on this year's team, both on and off the field. The coach said that he expects all of his players to strive toward their main objective, that being graduating with a college degree. Coach Fornelli also said that he is very enthusiastic about the new turf on the Hornets' baseball field, telling the Club that the surface covers every inch of the diamond and that there is no dirt to get baseballs dirty, uniforms soiled, or blow into the eyes of the spectators. The players will wear cleats, have excellent footing, and slide easily into bases on the new turf. As a bonus, the improved surface should also give a boost to recruiting efforts.
Coach Fornelli said that Emporia State achieved fifty wins against only ten losses in 2008, and led the country in four offensive categories. The coach stated that until his pitchers begin to believe in their abilities, the Hornet hitters will have to carry the team this season, as well. So far, E-State has won ten games against only three defeats after protracted road trips to Oklahoma and Colorado, and is finally home for a weekend series in Emporia. Coach Fornelli told the Club that he lost three All-Americans from last year's squad to graduation, including a pitcher who won ten games against only two losses. As a result, the Hornet coaching staff is forced to play a number of young position players, athletes who must learn to do the little things that win baseball games. Coach Fornelli noted that Emporia State won thirty-five times against only three setbacks at home last year, and told the Optimists about some of his outstanding players. The speaker cited Jeremy Francis, a fast junior left fielder who will play as long as he remembers to bunt and use his speed, Connor Crumbliss, a strong, one hundred sixty-pound center-fielder who hits .500, was a two-time all-state wrestling champion in high school capable of bench pressing three hundred twenty pounds, and who his coach also thinks is the best player in the M.I.A.A., junior right fielder Zack Treadman, another smallish outfielder who plays big for E.S.U., and Kevin Wempe, a sophomore from Topeka who took over at third base last year after the starter at that position was injured. Kevin Dreiling and Kenny Burkhead round out the infield, and Mike Sharp, a transfer from the University of Alabama, is the starting catcher.
Coach Fornelli told the Club that he has only five scholarships of $500 to $1,000 each, and that while his players may not be the biggest and fastest athletes on the planet, they love the game and hustle all the time, a quality sorely lacking among players who perform at higher levels and who make huge amounts of money. The coach said that baseball is a game in which any team can win on a given day, and expressed optimism that not only will his pitching staff improve once ace Tyler Appelhans regains his form, the attendance at Hornet home games will continue to increase, especially with the new turf in place. After answering questions and regaling the members with the story about how an E.S.U. baseball player and a Hornet basketball team member switched sports for a day last year and barely distinguished themselves, Coach Fornelli concluded his presentation as the members cheered. President Bob Burenheide gifted the coach with an Optimist pen and an Optimist coffee mug as thanks for his address to the Club.
The meeting skidded to a conclusion with Bobby Thompson and Former President Bob Glover each being fined for cell phone violations, Kayla Oney fittingly winning the $2.00 Main Street Mary Prize, this reporter getting $3.00, Coach Fornelli winning $4.00 and graciously donating it back to the Club, and Parry Briggs topping off a fair and reasonable drawing by walking off with $7.00, after which the members boogied out of the meeting room without reciting the Creed.
SWALLOW YOUR PRIDE AND A LOT OF INSULTS--SHOW UP FOR THE THURSDAY, MARCH 12, 2009 MEETING OF THEFLINT HILLS OPTIMIST CLUB!
After pre-bell festivities in which Courtney Graves was welcomed back and told the members about an undertaking in which the Kansas Works Program will pay area youth to work for local businesses, and Former President Steve Mollach waxed nostalgic about the old days of debauchery in Herington, Kansas, thirteen verbal flamethrowers rose to their feet as President Bob Burenheide called the February 26, 2009 meeting of the Flint Hills Optimist Club to order. Co-Chaplain and Former President Darrell Jones followed by delivering an eloquent Invocation and leading the group in the Pledge of Allegiance. This week's only guest was Brad Kemp, sponsored by Vice President Steve "Doc" Graham.
President Burenheide took advantage of the lawless atmosphere at this week's meeting by avoiding being fined for a flagrant cell phone violation, then was cheered by the members for representing our Club at the previous weekend's Quarterly Board Meeting of the Kansas District of Optimist International. Bob then presented this undeserving reporter with a handsome framed certificate from the District as the Optimist of the Quarter for October through December, 2008. President Burenheide next called Robert Novak to the podium and gave the Club's newest member his official Optimist membership pin and informational packet, as the members applauded with gusto. Welcome goes out to Robert, who was sponsored by this reporter.
After noting that $57.20 had accumulated in the Little Red Bucket as the Flint Hills Optimist Club's share of the fight against childhood cancer, President Burenheide passed the said bucket around the room and collected even more coins and bills for the cause. Bob then circulated a request from District which asked Optimists everywhere to contribute kids' band-aids, crayons, pens, pencils and other items for youth activities. President Burenheide held aloft a snazzy Optimist license plate frame, and threatened to auction it off, give it away, or make it available as a drawing prize at an upcoming meeting.
As for the Saturday, March 28, 2009 Flint Hills Optimist Club High School All-Star Basketball Classic, Co-Chairman and Former President Rich Jaggard urged the members to submit their ads for this year's Classic program to Mike Utech or Jeff Kitselman not later than Monday, March 2, 2009 so that the original draft of the program may be delivered to the printer. Rich added that the Classic Committee will meet next week to make additional preparations for the big games.
President Burenheide passed around a letter of thanks from Melissa Windsor of the Emporia Arts Council for our Club's $250 donation in support of Project QUEST, and Former President Rich Jaggard announced that he has two tickets for the upcoming local production of "To Kill a Mockingbird", and will give the tickets away to the first lucky reader to call and ask for them.
President Burenheide then turned the lectern over to the tepidly received Program Chairman and Vice President Steve "Doc" Graham, who introduced Brad Kemp as this week's guest speaker. Mr. Kemp is the Executive Director of the Kansas Coalition for Lifesaving Cures, an organization founded in 2005 to promote and support stem cell research, therapies and cures for various diseases. Mr. Kemp said that stem cell research is a widely discussed topic these days and that although it is controversial, there has always been controversy about new medical procedures, even about heart transplants when they were first attempted in the 1960's. Mr. Kemp told the members that there must be an informed dialogue on the subject, and presented a slide presentation on the basics of stem cell research and therapies. The members learned that all human diseases involve damaged or deformed cells, and that with stem cell therapy, generic cells harvested from various sources can be converted into the specific cells needed to cause healing. Mr. Kemp stated that medical and scientific research is still progressing on the procedures and techniques that will address particular diseases. The speaker said that even bone marrow transplants involve the collection and transfer of blood stem cells for use in conjunction with chemotherapy and radiation.
Mr. Kemp told the Club that stem cell research has been going on for some thirty-five or forty years, typically involving the use of blastocysts which are created in the laboratory in various situations, such as when couples who have trouble conceiving children donate sperm and eggs to assist in conception. There may be dozens of unused and unwanted blastocysts that will be discarded but could be beneficial in research and development of stem cell therapies, but some observers regard those procedures as an inappropriate use of human life and a step toward human cloning. Mr. Kemp said that those kinds of stem cells are adult cells, as opposed to embryonic stem cells which are retrieved from placentas and umbilical cords. Embryonic stem cells were only discovered eleven years ago in 1998 by a University of Wisconsin researcher, and hold the promise of curing diseases such as cancer, Lou Gehrig's Disease, diabetes, stroke heart disease, and Parkinson's disease, while some researchers think that no additional benefit will ever be derived from adult stem cells.
Mr. Kemp informed the members that stem cell therapies involve the use of Sematic Cell Nucleus Transfer (SCNT), in which the nuclei of a donor's cells are replaced in order to convert generic cells to specific cells which can cure a targeted disease. Mr. Kemp passed around pamphlets which provided information about the Kansas Coalition for Lifesaving Cures' efforts to promote stem cell therapies and to block legislation on the state level that would prohibit or restrict research in that area. The speaker pointed out that although the Bush Administration issued an executive order in 2001 that barred the use of federal funds for stem cell research, there is no federal law prohibiting such research or procedures. Mr. Kemp urged the members to learn more about stem cell research, to join the Coalition, and to contact their legislative representatives to implore them to reject legislation that would keep stem cell research and associated therapies from progressing in the future. The members applauded Mr. Kemp's informative presentation.
In a weekly drawing that even the Obama Administration's stimulus program can't fix, Former President Stan Fowler won the $2.00 Main Street Mary Prize, $2.50 went to Former President Darrell Jones, Courtney Graves left the meeting early and won $3.00, less taxes, fees, handling and carrying charges, and Robert Novak struck it filthy rich by winning the $4.00 mega-bucks prize.
RUNNING SHORT ON ABUSE AND AGGRAVATION? SHOW UP NEXT WEEK FOR THE THURSDAY, MARCH 5, 2009 MEETING OF THE FLINT HILLS OPTIMIST CLUB AND FILL UP!
Seventeen back-talkers were on hand as Vice President Steve "Doc" Graham rang the bell for the sole purpose of giving Sheriff Ken Hanson legal authority to levy fines upon Parry Briggs and Mike Utech for name tag violations, with other members beating the rap by displaying their badges on ingenious places of their anatomies. Sheriff Hanson kept busy by fining Steve Younger for comparing Secretary-Treasurer Dr. George Durler to an over-zealous I.R.S. agent before President Bob Burenheide arrived and formally called the February 19, 2009 meeting of the Flint Hills Optimist Club to order. Co-Chaplain and Former President Bob Glover delivered the Invocation and led the group in the Pledge of Allegiance. This week's guests were Myrna Taunton, sponsored by her husband, Phil; Vice President Graham's wife, Dr. Tracey Graham; and Amy Jordan, brought by Kayla Oney.
After Sheriff Hanson fined himself for cracking wise about this week's agenda, President Burenheide conferred the coveted Optimist membership pin and information packet on Pat Clark, who was cheered as he told the Club that he and his wife own Clark Carpet and Tile, have two kids and two grandchildren, and that he enjoys hunting, fishing and boating in his spare time. Pat was welcomed into the Club with open arms, especially after Mike Utech noted that he donated new carpeting for the trailer that the Club used at last year's Christmas tree lot. Former President Rich Jaggard somehow avoided a fine by feigning a hearing disability, claiming that Pat enjoys "floats", not "boats", and should thereby serve on the Club's Christmas Parade Float Committee. President Burenheide then gave this reporter an attractive pin for bringing Robert Novak into the Club, with Robert's official induction to take place at an upcoming meeting.
President Burenheide reminded the members that the Quarterly Board Meeting of the Kansas District of Optimist International was scheduled for the upcoming weekend, and that he would provide the bus if a dozen or so members would throw caution to the wind and attend the convention. In the absence of the Little Red Bucket, Bob passed around the file box that holds the members' nametags so that those present could chip in some money to help the Optimists combat childhood cancer.
As for the Saturday, March 28, 2009 Flint Hills Optimist Club High School All-Star Basketball Classic, Co-Chairmen Mike Utech and Former President Rich Jaggard reported that everything is under control, with a few program advertisement renewals coming in through the mail. Mr. Utech led the discussion of the list of Flint Hills Optimist Club financial beneficiaries that Parry Briggs passed around and which appears in the program, with the members suggesting that Parry and President Burenheide update the roster of those organizations to which our Club has given money over the years. The members questioned the omission of the Peter Pan Playground, the Master Gardeners' organization, and the purchase of teepees for Lyon County Historical Society youth programs, with Sheriff Ken Hanson fining Mike Utech for aggressively urging President Burenheide to get off the dime and get the list of Optimist donees brought up to date. Former President Jaggard added that there will be more to report in a couple of weeks, and that the menu for the Tuesday, March 24, 2009 Classic Banquet has been finalized.
After reminding the members that Vice President Steve Graham will sponsor next week's program and that various Emporia State University athletic coaches will address the Club after that, President Burenheide turned the lectern over to Program Chairwoman Kayla Oney, who introduced Amy Jordan of the Lyon County Extension Office, as this week's guest speaker. Mrs. Jordan, who managed to keep her composure during her first appearance before the Flint Hills Optimist Club, told the members that there are extension offices in each county in Kansas, and that they are branches of the Kansas State University Research and Extension Office. Mrs. Jordan, whose focus is on horticulture, works with Rhonda Gordon, the Family and Consumer Science Agent, Brian Rees, the Agricultural Extension Agent, and two office support staff, although the local extension office is currently short a 4-H agent. Mrs. Jordan spends most of her time providing information and guidance to homeowners on how to have lush and healthy lawns and gardens.
The speaker then informed the Optimists about a new state-wide program which is designed to beautify the cities and towns of the State of Kansas by encouraging the planting of flowers in every nook and cranny, aptly named "Our Community--A More Colorful Place." Mrs. Jordan said that the idea is to get individual homeowners and business people to plant more and more flowers in more and more places, thereby providing Kansas with splashes of color from border to border. Noting that flowers last longer and provide aesthetic beauty for a more protracted period of time than Christmas lights, Mrs. Jordan circulated lists of flowers that are compatible with Kansas weather and soil conditions, known as the Prairie Star list, and said that the K-State Research and Extension Office is constantly conducting research on annual flowers by maintaining trial gardens in Olathe, Hays, Colby, Haysville and Manhattan, and grading the progress of various flowers each week. Mrs. Jordan also discussed the merits of perennials, or flowers that don't have to be replanted each year but which have shorter growing seasons.
After telling the Club that she is working with Kayla Oney to get down-town merchants on board with the "Our Community--A More Colorful Place" program, an informational meeting on the same to be held March 26, 2009 at 9:30 a.m., Mrs. Jordan answered questions on such subjects as the ever-changing Prairie Star flower list, the most efficient fertilizers to use on vegetables, and when to prepare the soil for spring planting before concluding her informative presentation to loud applause from the members.
The meeting concluded after a weekly drawing that made the current recession look like happy days are here again.
PACK THE ROOM FOR NEXT THURSDAY'S MEETING OF THE FLINT HILLS OPTIMIST CLUB, WITH VICE PRESIDENT STEVE "DOC" GRAHAM TO SPONSOR THE GUEST SPEAKER!
A fire-eating crowd of seventeen congregated in the K.S.T.C. Room of the Emporia State University Memorial Union as President Bob Burenheide called the February 12, 2009 meeting of the Flint Hills Optimist Club to order. Co-Chaplain and Former President Darrell Jones delivered the Invocation and led the assembled multitude in the Pledge of Allegiance. This week's guests were Hillary Laird, sponsored by Sheriff Ken Hanson, and Sonja Bonebrake's husband, Kevin Bonebrake.
President Burenheide led off this week's meeting by promising new members Pat Clark and Robert Novak that their official Optimist membership pins and information packets have been ordered and will soon be presented to Pat and Robert at an upcoming meeting. After President Burenheide passed around the Little Red Bucket so that the members could make donations to aid in the fight against childhood cancer, Easter Egg Hunt Chairman and Former President Darrell Jones announced that candy for the Saturday, April 11, 2009 Flint Hills Optimist Club-Cable One Easter Egg Hunt has been ordered, and that Former President Stan Fowler will do his usual professional job in preparing promotional flyers for the hunt and arranging for their distribution in area schools. Stan's response and the resultant look on Darrell's face led to Sheriff Ken Hanson fining both men on the spot.
As for the Saturday, March 28, 2009 Flint Hills Optimist Club High School All-Star Basketball Classic, Co-Chairman and Former President Rich Jaggard assured the members that preparations for the big project are well in hand, with responses from invited players and solicited program advertisers pouring in at a prodigious rate. Rich is also busy planning the menu for the Tuesday, March 24, 2009 Classic banquet, and reminded the members that ads for the program must be turned in by March 1, 2009.
President Burenheide's bluff that he has reserved a bus to transport the whole Club to the next Quarterly Board Meeting of the Kansas District of Optimist International fooled no one, but the present board members did agree to convene after the meeting to consider an application by the Emporia Arts Council. With respect to upcoming programs, Bob told the members that a speaker is needed for next week, and initiated some wild talk about having Emporia State University Baseball Coach Bob Fornelli being invited to address the Club. Vice President Steve "Doc" Graham is sponsoring the program for February 26, 2009, but President Burenheide asked the members to arrange for some top quality speakers to appear at meetings in March.
After the Optimists were invited to Kayla Oney's farewell reception at the Main Street office on March 5, 2009 between 4:00 p.m. and 6:00 p.m., President Burenheide turned the lectern over to this week's Program Chairman and Tailtwister, Sheriff Ken Hanson, who introduced Hillary Laird of Hand in Hand Hospice and Homecare as the guest speaker. Ms. Laird told the members that Hand in Hand is a non-profit organization dedicated to meeting the needs of the terminally ill in Emporia and within a sixty mile radius thereof. The members were told that a patient is determined to be "terminally ill" if he or she is diagnosed with a disease that is expected to be fatal within six months, and that the patient is periodically re-evaluated for deterioration in his or her condition. Ms. Laird said that Hospice seeks neither to prolong nor shorten life, striving instead to maximize a patient's comfort and enhance his or her quality of life. The speaker said that Hospice's multi-disciplinary approach to patient care involves a medical director, pastor, social worker, nursing staff, and volunteers, with volunteer service being mandated as a condition of Medicare certification. Volunteers undergo training by the Hospice staff, and depending on the patient's condition, may read to, walk alongside, play board games with, or otherwise provide comfort and companionship to the patient, as well as a breather for a family that is caring for their loved one around the clock.
Ms. Laird said that more and more college students are serving as Hospice volunteers, as well as surviving spouses of people who were former Hospice patients. Anyone interested in volunteering to aid the terminally ill should call Hand in Hand Hospice for more information. The Club was told that the amount of time that will be required of a Hospice volunteer on behalf of a patient is largely agreed to between the volunteer and the patient's family. Ms. Laird added that Hand in Hand Hospice also provides a bereavement support group and associated activities for surviving family members for a year after the death of their loved one. A number of volunteers reside in the outlying regions of Hand in Hand's service area, thereby reducing the travel time to reach a patient's residence. Ms. Laird stated that Hospice can also provide services to patients in nursing homes and hospitals, and that Medicare pays Hospice $145 per day to minister to the terminally ill. The speaker emphasized that Hospice never turns anyone away because of lack of financial resources, and that memorial donations are often applied to the expenses of caring for indigent patients. In response to questions, Ms. Laird said that there is one for-profit Hospice organization in Emporia, and that Hand in Hand's patient census varies throughout the year but is currently at about twenty. The members then applauded Ms. Laird's informative presentation, while President Burenheide presented her with an Optimist pen in appreciation for her appearance before the Club.
In a felicitous weekly drawing in which Head Croupier and Former President Joe Michaels declared a temporary suspension of the miniscule Main Street Mary or Kayla Prize, this thunderstruck reporter and Kevin Bonebrake each won $5.00, while the aforesaid Kayla waltzed off with $6.00 in Optimist money filling her purse. A faithless President Bob Burenheide said that past performance dictated that the Optimist Creed should not be recited to mark the end of the meeting, so we didn't.
SHOW UP FOR THE THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 19, 2009 HOSTILITY-VENTING SESSION THAT IS THE FLINT HILLS OPTIMIST CLUB AND BRING A GUEST!
The February 5, 2009 meeting of the Flint Hills Optimist Club was called to order by President Bob Burenheide, with Co-Chaplain and Former President Darrell Jones delivering the Invocation and leading an impertinent crowd of fifteen in the Pledge of Allegiance. This week's only guest was Greg Bachman, sponsored by President Bob Burenheide.
President Burenheide started this week's meeting by relating that the board of directors met on Tuesday, February 3, 2009, and officially approved Pat Clark, sponsored by Bob himself, and Robert Novak, lured into the Club by this reporter, as the newest Flint Hills Optimists. Congratulations and welcome go out to Pat and Robert; their official membership packets and pins will arrive shortly.
After passing around the Little Red Bucket so that the Optimists could contribute megabucks for childhood cancer research, Flint Hills Optimist Club High School All-Star Classic Co-chairman and Former President Rich Jaggard reported that the Selection Committee met last Tuesday night, February 3, 2009, at Frontier Farm Credit, and with the help of Parry Briggs' technological skills, chose the rosters for the March 28, 2009 games and sent letters to the athletes notifying them of their selections. President Burenheide added that money from this year's Classic program advertisers has been rolling in, including an ad from Emporia Fitness, owned and operated by this week's guest speaker, Greg Bachman. Bob urged the Club's business owners to purchase ads in the Classic, especially if the selected basketball players fall short of their mandate to sell at least two ads apiece, and largely ignored Former President Darrell Jones' rejoinder that he was a little short himself during this recession. President Burenheide also strongly suggested that the Classic Committee double check the spelling of the names of the players in this year's program so as to avoid the regrettable misspelling of a name in the 2008 Classic publication. The programs will be sold for $1.00 each this year, although free programs will be given to the players at the Tuesday, March 24, 2009 Classic Banquet. Computer Guru Parry Briggs was assigned the task of updating the list of Club benefactors and projects, and adding a current roster of Club officers to the back page of the program, all as suggested by Classic Co-Chairman Mike Utech.
As for the Saturday, April 11, 2009 Flint Hills Optimist Club-Cable One Easter Egg Hunt, the members blanched at Former President Jones' offer to save money by making the candy himself, and President Burenheide won the most coveted job in the Club, i.e., picking up Kayla Oney's Easter Bunny suit and delivering it to Kayla. Sympathetic members offered to pay the fine that Sheriff Ken Hanson levied on Secretary-Treasurer Dr. George Durler for leveling an accusation of randy behavior at President Burenheide.
President Burenheide then told the members that the board declined to shell out $250 and expenses for the privilege of putting up a Flint Hills Optimist Club sign on the fence at the Soden's Grove baseball field, choose instead to commit Club resources to tried and true projects for the time being. The board also decided not to underwrite the director's salary at Camp Alexander, if asked to do so in the wake of the loss of the Hopkins Foundation Grant, noting that the Club already contributes to the camp as a budgeted item each year. Sheriff Hanson fined Former President Stan Fowler for urging Former President Bob Glover to administer the camp for free when he's not busy ramrodding our tree lot. Former President Glover was treated to raucous applause for picking up one hundred thirteen Christmas tree stands at Wal-Mart and paying absolutely nothing for them; and it was all perfectly legal. Some members suggested that, in light of 2008 sales figures, the Club get out of the Christmas tree business and into the Christmas tree stand business.
After proposing new efforts to get our newest Optimists involved in Club projects, President Burneheide doubled as Program Chairman and introduced Greg Bachman as this week's guest speaker. A physical therapist, Mr. Bachman delivered an interactive presentation on exercise in general and the benefits of cardiovascular strengthening activities in particular, flexibility training, aging issues, and the importance of balance in senior citizens. Mr. Bachman said that changes in lifestyle that occur with age and repetitive actions at places of work, such as operating a computer mouse or constantly leaning toward a computer screen, have a dramatic impact on flexibility and good posture. The speaker noted that too many people slouch in their chairs or are plagued by poor posture and gradually adopt a forward leaning stance, thereby tightening muscles in the chest and weakening back muscles. Mr. Bachman told the Optimists that as people age, they tend to be less active and fall prey to stiff joints, noting that physical activity leads to the lubrication of the body's joint structure. Mr. Bachman extolled the virtues of flexibility training, and predicted that in the future people will take better care of themselves, be more active, and reduce the numbers of joint replacements, thereby freeing up more doctors to handle the inevitable influx of newborn infants.
Mr. Bachman pointed to the sedentary lifestyles of today as the reason for joint problems and compressed vertebrae, and said that if people engaged in vigorous physical labor on a regular basis, there would be no need for them to participate in exercise programs. Instead, Americans contend with poor balance, rotator cuff injuries, and bad backs as they age, and need regular exercise to offset the lack of rigorous physical activity in their daily lives. The speaker recommended that before undergoing an exercise program, an individual should decide what he or she wishes to accomplish and design a regimen that will facilitate those goals. After telling the members that the risk factors for poor musculo-skeletal alignment are similar to those for heart disease, Mr. Bachman had our own Janna Stegmaier perform a simple exercise by standing with her feet apart and her back almost touching the wall, thereby demonstrating the form that won her the coveted 1993 Miss Good Posture Award. Mr. Bachman told the Club that without proper exercise, an adult loses 1% of his or her strength every year after age thirty-five, leaving some to wonder how they manage to pick up the newspaper every morning. After questions and answers, the members applauded Mr. Bachman's informative and entertaining presentation, with President Burenheide bestowing an official Optimist pen on the speaker.
In a pipsqueak of a weekly drawing, Former President Darrell Jones won $3.00, and $5.00 apiece went to Sheriff Ken Hanson and Former President Stan Fowler. The members then just faded away without reciting the Creed.
SHOW UP FOR NEXT THURSDAY'S MEETING UNDER PENALTY OF FINE AND IMPRISONMENT AS SHERIFF KEN HANSON WILL SPONSOR THE GUEST SPEAKER!
Eighteen verbal roughnecks crowded into the K.S.T.C. Room of the Emporia State University Memorial Union as President Bob Burenheide called the January 29, 2009 Kansas Day meeting of the Flint Hills Optimist Club to order. Co-Chaplain Dr. Patrick Murray delivered a fine Invocation and led the group in the Pledge of Allegiance. This week's guests were Patricia Murray, escorted by her husband, Dr. Patrick Murray; Marijean Glover, who either was sponsored by or sponsored her husband, Former President Bob Glover; and Pat Clark, whose sponsor, President Bob Burenheide, informed the Club that Pat has submitted his completed membership application and dues check for the purpose of having the board approve the same at its Tuesday, February 3, 2009 meeting; the members erupted in applause. Pat told the members that he and his wife, Laurie, are the parents of two and grandparents of two, and that they own and operate Clark's Carpet and Tile.
Former President Rich Jaggard led off this week's open meeting with the stunning news that the long lost Flint Hills Optimist Club By-Laws have been found. It seems that former member Mike Van Gorden, who lives in the Kansas City area and who recently retired from the I.R.S., stumbled across the three-ring binder containing the 1994 edition of the by-laws when Mrs. Van Gorden insisted that he clean out some old file cabinets. The members expressed reluctant appreciation to Mike for turning in the by-laws, along with a 1994 Club roster which contains then President Dennis Fike along with a few names that no one remembers, and agreed that Former President Jaggard should review the by-laws and propose any necessary revisions and updates. Former President Darrell Jones threw all members into a panic by insisting that Former President Brett Stewart actually has the original by-laws from the Club's chartering in 1980.
In other items of Club business, the members cheered as President Bob Burenheide presented Former President Joe Michaels with an elegant lapel pin from Optimist International for sponsoring Dr. Bryan Douglas' brother-in-law, Bobby Thompson, into the Club. Bob then passed along correspondence that he received from O.I. which urges the Flint Hills Optimists to start another Optimist Club somewhere in the area, and also passed around a bottle of M & M's which Optimist International sent with a note inviting the members to have a candy and replace it with a donation of coin or currency. Some members munched on the M & M's, but O.I. got nothing in return except Kayla Oney's inquiry whether they were plain or peanut. President Bur-
enheide got a better response when he circulated the Little Red Bucket, with the members chipping in cold, hard cash to help the Optimists fight childhood cancer.
President Burenheide told the members that thank-you notes have been sent to Markowitz Construction and Bluestem Farm & Ranch for the use of the construction trailer and dozens of pallets, respectively, at last year's Christmas tree lot. Bob confirmed that the trailer will be available to shelter the Club's sales force at this year's tree emporium. The directors, officers, and garden variety Flint Hills Optimists were invited to show up at the E.S.U. Union at noon on Tuesday, February 3, 2009 for the monthly board meeting, and the Club thanked Recording Secretary and Former President Rich Jaggard for e-mailing last month's minutes to the general membership.
The members then lamented the Optimist Bummer of the Week when President Burenheide confirmed that Kayla Oney will be leaving Emporia in a few weeks to become the Marketing and Event Director of the Columbian Theater in Wamego, Kansas. Kayla's impending departure makes achievement of Honor Club status by the Flint Hills Optimists a little more difficult, but, more importantly, means that we are losing a productive and enthusiastic member. The Club wished Kayla all the best, and took some solace that she will return to play her much acclaimed role as the Easter Bunny at the April 11, 2009 Flint Hills Optimist Club Easter Egg Hunt, and may even put in a few hours at this season's Christmas tree lot. The members' pleas for choice theater seats at a fraction of the going price fell on deaf ears.
As for the aforementioned Easter Egg Hunt, Egg Emperor and Former President Darrell Jones told everyone in the Club to chill out and that he will order the candy in plenty of time for the April 11 egg melee, although the plan is to cut back on the amount of candy ordered for the event. Former President Joe Michaels hinted that he might be able to line up a corporate sponsor for the hunt, one that does not sell satellite dishes. Looking ahead to this year's Christmas tree lot, Former President Bob Glover reported that his alma mater, Wal-Mart, is selling Christmas tree stands for the low, low price of eighty cents each. Bob was directed to commandeer Dr. Patrick Murray's car and buy every stand in the store. The members then sang the praises of Jessica "Parade Queen" Kirk for volunteering to head out to Wal-Mart and buy up all the decorations and materials needed to put together a first class float in the 2009 Emporia Christmas Parade.
Discussion then turned to the Saturday, March 28, 2009 Flint Hills Optimist Club High School All-Star Basketball Classic. Co-Chairman Dr. Bryan Douglas told the Club that the deadline for player nominations had been extended to January 30, 2009, and that the Selection Committee will hold draft night at Frontier Farm Credit on Tuesday, February 3, 2009 at 6:30 p.m. Bryan reminded the members that the Classic Banquet will be held on Tuesday, March 24, 2009 at the Memorial Union. Bryan added that adverisements in the Classic program are being received at an alarming rate, and that long time Classic Advertising Chairman Jeff Kitselman is showing his grit by shaking off knee surgery and agreeing to ride herd on this year's ad sales. Two of the Classic Committee Co-Chairmen, Dr. Douglas and Former President Rich Jaggard, led a continued discussion about the best alternative for printing up the Classic program in light of drastic increases in printing and artwork costs assessed by our current printing firm this year. More research will be done into the possibility of contracting with a company suggested by Courtney Graves or Former President Steve Mollach's graphic design class at Northern Heights High School, probably next year. Former President Stan Fowler declined to put in a bid for the programs, but offered valuable advice on the best way to produce them and on selection of an appropriate printing firm. The members seemed to warm to the possibility of reducing the number of programs to be printed from seven hundred fifty to five hundred, and selling them for $1.00 each in order to defray costs. More consideration will be given to the issue in the near future.
Former President Joe Michaels reported that the Sit 'N Spin is still sitting and spinning, and President Burenheide advised the members that Greg Bachman will address the Club at next week's meeting, with Sheriff Ken Hanson to sponsor the guest speaker on February 12, 2009 and Dr. Patrick Murray to line up a program for February 19. Any members who have ideas for captivating and spellbinding programs in upcoming weeks should contact President Burenheide and put the wheels in motion.
In a Kansas Day drawing that nearly set the state back one hundred fifty years to territorial status, Jessica Kirk won $2.50 and a Lennox screwdriver, courtesy of subtle advertiser President Bob Burenheide, $4.00 went to Pat Clark, Dr. Partrick Murray won $5.00 on the condition that he not even think about taking over Kayla Oney's role as the Easter Bunny, and Former Pres- ident Joe Michaels waltzed off with the $6.00 high definition prize. Even Kayla Oney's valiant efforts weren't enough to save this week's chaotic recitation of the Optimist Creed from total collapse.
DON'T FIGHT IT, YOU CAN'T STAY AWAY--SHOW UP FOR NEXT THURSDAY'S EDITION OF THE FLINT HILLS OPTIMIST CLUB!
A loquacious crowd of sixteen was on hand as President Bob Burenheide called the January 22, 2009 meeting of the Flint Hills Optimist Club to order. Co-Chaplain and Former President Darrell Jones delivered a spiritually challenging Invocation and led the group in the Pledge of Allegiance. This week's only guest was Pat Clark, a potential new member sponsored by President Burenheide. The newest Flint Hills Optimists, Bobby Thompson and Robert Novak, continued their basic training in Optimism by attending the Thursday verbal street fight.
After a prelude by Former President Steve Mollach, who had taken to the airwaves on K.V.O.E. that very morning to discuss his upcoming retirement as Superintendent of U.S.D. 251 (North Lyon County) and gave his assurances that he will now have time to become Optimist Tree Salesman of the Year, President Burenheide filled in as tailtwister by fining Former President Darrell Jones for not putting on his nametag until after the opening bell rang. Bob then fined himself for conduct unbecoming an officer and a gentleman.
President Burenheide started the business portion of this week's open meeting by presenting Bobby Thompson with his membership packet and pin, as the members, including Bobby's sponsor, Dr. Bryan Douglas, applauded. Bob then passed around the Little Red Bucket and collected coins and currency for use in the Optimist fight against childhood cancer.
The members cheered as President Burenheide announced that Kayla Oney has reserved the always popular Easter Bunny costume and will not only wear it while mingling among her adoring young fans at the April 11, 2009 Flint Hills Optimist Club Easter Egg Hunt, but will appear in costume on Commercial Street later that day in order to spread the true spirit of Easter in downtown Emporia. Former President and Easter Egg Hunt Chairman Emeritus Darrell Jones suggested that rather than schedule a rain date in case of inclement weather on April 11, the Club should hold an all-day prayer vigil on April 10 in an attempt to secure a warm, sunny day for the hunt.
After a befuddled President Burenheide told the members that he got an e-mail from the Kansas District of Optimist International which invited our Club to submit an application for a matching fund grant, a skill that Bob has not yet mastered, Former President Steve Mollach offered to lend his expertise and fill out the necessary documents so that the Flint Hills Optimists could be awarded the cash allocation. The members' appreciation for Steve's generous offer turned to scorn when it was learned that the Club would have to spend thousands sending him to Orlando in order to receive a $500 grant.
As for the Saturday, March 28, 2009 Flint Hills Optimist Club High School All-Star Basketball Classic, Co-Chairman Dr. Bryan Douglas reported that January 23, 2009 was the official deadline for player nominations from the twenty-two area high schools to whom solicitations were sent. Bryan said that the tentative date for Selection Night is Monday, February 2, 2009, a date that was scheduled in an attempt to secure the skill and knowledge of Ken "The Sheriff" Hanson and Former President Steve Mollach, and to arrange for the use of Frontier Farm Credit's palatial conference room for the meeting.
As for the Classic program, Classic Co-Chairman Mike Utech told the members that Navrat's, which has produced the program for several years, has dramatically increased the cost of producing this year's publication. The consensus of the Club was that it may be too late to find another printing establishment this year, but the members listened with interest as Former President Steve Mollach raised the possibility of Northern Heights High School students using their graphic training and some high dollar, sophisticated printing equipment to produce next year's program as easily and with the same quality that they exhibit in printing up their own yearbook. Co-Chairman Mike Utech also urged the members to sell more ads in the program, noting that each player who participates will be asked to sell at least two advertisements, but the idea of selling the programs for $1 each received mixed reviews from the Optimists. There was general agreement that a program should be made available to the players, their families, and the crowd which attends the games, and that the number of programs printed should be reduced from seven hundred fifty to five hundred in an attempt to hold down costs.
The members also noted that most of the artwork in the program consists of the players' photographs and biographies. Classic Co-Chairman Mike Utech led a discussion about updating the Club information on the cover of the program, suggesting that we should include only organizations to which the Optimists have donated recently, a little information about some of the more obscure donees, and maybe even some action photos from the Easter Egg Hunt. Secretary-Treasurer Dr. George Durler signed his own death warrant by stating that Kayla Oney has already done some of that work in connection with the Christmas tree lot, and would be glad to expand her efforts to revise that portion of the Classic program. The members were reminded that the Classic banquet will be on Tuesday, March 24, 2009 at the E.S.U. Union. Thanks go out to Dr. Bryan Douglas and Mr. Mike Utech for their good work in making early preparations for this year's Classic.
After Former President Steve Mollach gave himself a four star rating for his appearance on K.V.O.E. that morning, a swan song in which he waxed nostalgic about his courting days and some of the more tender moments of his tenure as U.S.D. 251 Superintendent, President Burenheide urged the members to bring guest speakers to upcoming meetings, noting that February 12, 2009 is the only Thursday for which a program is currently scheduled. Suggestions for top-drawer speakers ranged from the E.S.U. softball coach to All-Star Classic Girls' Team Coaches Amanda Cunningham and Amanda Gutierrez, the latter to provide a trash-talking seminar for the members.
The Optimists debated the wisdom of bailing Former President Bob Glover out of the Muscular Dystrophy Fundraising Jail that morning, then endured the stench of a weekly drawing that saw $4.00 go to Secretary-Treasurer Dr. George Durler, $5.00 to Former President Stan Fowler, and the $7.00 whopper prize to Pat Clark. The meeting ended with a listless recitation of the Optimist Creed.
ESCAPE FROM POLITE SOCIETY FOR AN HOUR--SHOW UP FOR NEXT THURSDAY'S MEETING OF THE FLINT HILLS OPTIMIST CLUB!
Fifteen verbal firebreathers looked on as President Bob Burenheide called the January 15, 2009 meeting of the Flint Hills Optimist Club to order, with Co-Chaplain and Former President Bob Glover delivering the Invocation and leading the Club in the Pledge of Allegiance. This week's guests were Pat Clark, sponsored by President Burenheide; Bobby Thompson, brought by Dr. Bryan Douglas; and Robert Novak, the guest of this reporter. The members cheered lustily at the news that Bobby has been approved by the board for membership in the Flint Hills Optimist Club, and that Robert has submitted his completed membership application and dues check for consideration and approval at the February board meeting. Bobby, who spoke to our Club a few weeks back, introduced himself as a husband, father, and proprietor of The Help Desk, a booming business that provides computer repair, consultation and supplies for individuals and small companies, thereby taking advantage of his once-in-a-lifetime chance to talk up his place of employment without incurring a fine. Welcome goes out to Bobby and to Robert as the newest Flint Hills Optimists.
After Pat Clark pushed the limits of guest immunity beyond the breaking point when his cell phone rang and thereby drew a fine by Sheriff Ken Hanson, who raised eyebrows by causing a similar disruption when he turned his phone off, President Burenheide led off this week's open meeting by reporting that the board of directors met on January 13 and tackled a number of items of Club business.
Bob told the members that three Flint Hills Optimists who were behind in their dues have found redemption and salvation by paying up, and that the board examined and modified some of the budget cuts which had been proposed by Secretary-Treasurer Dr. George Durler in the wake of a Christmas tree project that could charitably be described as below par. The board decided to keep George busy with the Youth Appreciation Week banquet by cutting expenses involved with this summer's Fourth of July fireworks display, thereby freeing up funds for the banquet which honors outstanding area high school seniors. Secretary-Treasurer Durler's reaction to his failed effort to reduce his workload led to a fine from Sheriff Hanson that was paid by Former President Stan Fowler, after which the members discussed ways to boost last year's sagging tree lot profits. Sheriff Ken Hanson offered a ray of hope when he told the Club that he knows a lady who wants to purchase ten or so tree bags for use as storage containers, thereby pulling in another $20 or so in tree lot income for 2008. The members applauded Christmas Tree Co-Chairman and Former President Bob Glover for his diligent tree work and fine leadership in tough economic times, with Bob thanking his parents, his agent, and all the little people who made his success possible.
The Club was then told that the board decided that it might not be practical for the Clint Bowyer Foundation to purchase our leftover trees this year and distribute them to needy families, and Former President Glover suggested that we cut our 2009 Christmas tree inventory to under five hundred by eliminating all Scotch pine and many of the larger trees, but stocking some four to five feet tall Canadian balsams for customers who are looking for a small, yet classy tree and are willing to part with $20 to get one next Christmas . The members agreed that the Club has invested too much in good will and equipment to drop the project and disappoint over four hundred loyal customers, but that the goal should be to make a reasonable profit and close the lot after two weeks of sales. Former President Glover said that his old employer, Wal-Mart, sold one hundred twenty trees last Christmas and also had a number of leftover evergreens, and the Club agreed that the 2009 tree enterprise will require more promotion, including a return to the "Twelve Days of Christmas" contest on K.V.O.E. radio. After discussing pre-ordered trees, possible competition from giant corporations which may or may not be welcome in Emporia, and the best way to ship our trees to town next season while still being fair to Kevin Nelson in light of his generous assistance in 2008, the tree discussion ended with a thud when Sheriff Hanson fined Former President Mike Alpers for following Roberts Rules of Order and Former President Bob Glover for a disturbing remark about his affinity for watching male wrestling, as well as suggesting that arson may be a marketable skill when possessed by our members.
Former President Joe Michaels then told the members that it is nearly time for renewal, or non-renewal, of the Club's Wish 'N Spin fundraising wishing well contract. The members discussed the effort that it takes for Former President Michaels to maintain the well, including cleaning toxic waste out of the coin basin every month or so, and Joe noted that the Club does make a modest profit off the donations and renewed advertisements. The members expressed appreciation for Former President Michaels' periodic replacement of the advertising cards, collection of the donations, and moving the Sit 'N Spin around town every couple of months.
In other Club business, the members were reminded that this year's Easter Egg Hunt will take place on April 11, 2009 at Jones Park, with the rain date on April 18. President Burenheide reported that Wal-Mart has donated a quantity of plastic eggs which contain small prizes, with the Club to distribute them along with candy during the hunt. Bob noted that the Club spent $250 or so to give Emporia's youngest and most vulnerable a sugar high last Easter. Sheriff Ken Hanson was forced to fine himself for eagerly asking if Kayla Oney would appear once again in her highly acclaimed role as the Easter Bunny.
Dr. Bryan Douglas then raised the possibility of the Club sponsoring a softball tournament this summer, provided twenty or so mens' and co-ed teams can be suckered into ponying up $150 apiece to play ball in an Optimist tournament at the diamonds on West South Avenue. Bryan suggested that Former President Bernie Toso or some other enterprising restauranteur could make a few dollars by selling food at such an event.
As for the annual Flint Hills Optimist Club High School All-Star Basketball Classic, Dr. Douglas reported that Selection Night will probably be on February 4, 2009, the Classic banquet will take place Tuesday, March 24, 2009 in the E.S.U. Memorial Union, and the games themselves are slated for Saturday, March 28, 2009 at White Auditorium. Bryan said that letters to area high school coaches and athletic directors have already been mailed, and each player will be asked to sell at least two ads in the Classic program.
After President Burenheide declared that this year's officers include the aforesaid Bob Burenheide as President, Steve "Doc" Graham and Ken Hanson as Vice Presidents, Dr. George Durler as Secretary-Treasurer, and Former President Stan Fowler and Steve Younger as new board members, a New Year's hangover of a weekly drawing saw Robert Novak win the $3.50
Main Street Mary Prize, $4.00 go to President Burenheide, and the $5.00 grand prize end up in Dr. Bryan Douglas' already overstuffed wallet. The members were then urged to bail Former President Glover out of Muscular Dystrophy jail, and the meeting ended with a semi-intelligible version of the Optimist Creed.
SHOW UP NEXT THURSDAY WHERE SOCIAL GAFFES ARE THE NORM AND DECORUM IS FROWNED UPON--THE FLINT HILLS OPTIMIST CLUB!
Fourteen holiday survivors straggled into the K.S.T.C. Room of the Emporia State University Memorial Union as President Bob Burenheide called the Thursday, January 8, 2009 meeting of the Flint Hills Optimist Club to order. Co-Chaplain and Former President Darrell Jones delivered the first Invocation of the New Year and led the Club's backtalkers in the Pledge of Allegiance. This week's only guest was Robert Novak, sponsored by this reporter.
President Burenheide passed around the red Optimist bucket for the purpose of collecting coins and currency to help fund childhood cancer research, and also circulated a note from Pru Schmidt of the Altrusa Club which thanked the Optimists for the donation of a Christmas tree which was given to a needy family. The Altrusas also invited the members to their casino night fundraiser on February 21, 2009, little realizing that the Flint Hills Optimists are notorious card cheats.
As for the recently concluded Flint Hills Optimist Club Christmas tree sales project, Christmas Tree Co-Mogul and Former President Bob Glover thanked all the members who sold trees, provided cable television service, delivered hot soup on cold days, managed the lot's finances, and otherwise helped with the tree sale. After President Burenheide interjected his thanks for the six tough hombres who showed up on a chilly December morning to tear down the lot, Former President Glover reported that he has been busy conducting an inventory of the various items of personal property left at the lot, and suggested that any member who is missing any articles of clothing, jewelry or furniture check with the lost and found at Former President Rich Jaggard's house, with President Burenheide claiming dibs on the padlock and keys. Former President Glover passed around a note of thanks from the Northern Tree Co., circulated newspaper clippings from the tree trailer bulletin board, and recounted how he sold one last tree for $20 on the final day that he worked the lot before Christmas.
Bob reiterated that with over two hundred trees left unsold, 2008 profits were very disappointing, and predicted a cut in the number of trees ordered this year, as well as the amount of community donations the Club can afford to dole out in 2009. Kevin "The Commish" Nelson floated an intriguing idea about the Club striking a deal with the Clint Bowyer Foundation in which the Boyer organization would purchase our leftover trees in 2009 at $20 apiece and distribute them to poor families. The Club would get something for its unsold inventory, needy people would get some Christmas cheer, and the Bowyer Foundation would be hailed as a local holiday hero. Former President Glover, now free from the restraining order imposed on him after last year's Easter Egg Hunt, volunteered to collaborate with Kayla Oney to draft a letter proposing just such an arrangement to the Bowyer Foundation. Former
President Glover told the members that despite the miniscule profits at the lot, no one suffered life-threatening injuries, no fires of any consequence were started, and not one drill bit was snapped off in the massive trunk of a Canadian balsam. The Club vowed to send a letter of thanks to Markowitz Construction for the use of its trailer as tree lot headquarters, and the members agreed with Stan Fowler that it is vital that the Club make repairs on the tree racks before next season rolls around.
President Burenheide reminded the board members and officers to show up for the first board meeting of the year on Tuesday, January 13, 2009 at the Memorial Union, and also checked with Secretary-Treasurer Dr. George Durler about the preparation of A. & A. (Activities and Awards) reports, as well as other sundry and assorted paperwork that has to be turned in to the district and international brass in order for the Flint Hills Optimists to have a shot at Honor Club. Bob added that, among other things, we must recruit at least five new members to achieve Honor Club status this year, and asked the members to compile an Enemies List of possible new Flint Hills Optimists who could be cajoled into membership by September 30, 2009.
Former President Joe Michaels reported that the Optimist Wish 'N Spin wishing well is still located at the Flint Hills Mall and is producing a steady monthly income for the Club which is only slightly less than the 2008 Christmas tree lot profits, if you count the street value of the various items of junk dropped in the well by the ill-mannered and slovenly. As for the Saturday, April 11, 2009 Flint Hills Optimist Club Easter Egg Hunt, Former President Darrell Jones agreed to reserve Jones Park for the hunt if others would order the candy, pick up all of the signs and equipment from Former President Rich Jaggard, and take care of all the other hunt details, including bodyguards for Kayla Oney as she reprises her starring role as the Easter Bunny.
In Club financial business, Secretary-Treasurer Dr. George Durler advised the members that he has proposed a number of budget cuts for 2009, one of which is funding for the Youth Appreciation Week Banquet, and called on those members who haven't paid this year's dues to get motivated and send George some checks that the bank will honor.
In a weekly drawing that was a pretty lame way to kick off the new year, Former President Joe Michaels administered a drawing that saw Jeff Cope win $3.00 and a superball from the Sit 'N Spin, Former President Darrell Jones get $3.00, a pendant and a diamond-less ring courtesy of the Sit 'N Spin, Secretary-Treasurer Dr. George Durler win $4.00 and a pocket calendar from some fly-by-night organization, and the $5.00 Main-Street-Mary-All-Grown-Up Prize go to Kayla Oney.
BREAK YOUR FIRST NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION BY SHOW ING UP FOR NEXT THURSDAY'S MEETING OF THE FLINT HILLS OPTIMIST CLUB!
An improved crowd of sixteen verbal hooligans filed into the K.S.T.C. Room of the Emporia State University Memorial Union to watch as President Bob Burenheide called the Thursday, June 25, 2009 meeting of the Flint Hills Optimist Club to order. Co-Chaplain and Former President Darrell Jones delivered a fine Invocation and led the group in the Pledge of Allegiance. The only guest present was Former President Joe Michaels' son, Garrett.
President Burenheide kicked off this week's open meeting by passing around the legendary Little Red Bucket so that the members could empty their pockets and contribute money toward the Optimist International fight against childhood cancer. After Bob circulated a note of thanks from Ciara Currie, who attended the 2009 American Legion Girls' State as a result of a financial donation from the Flint Hills Optimist Club, the members engaged
in an energetic discussion of the upcoming Flint Hills Optimist Community Fireworks Display which is scheduled for the night of July 4, 2009. Aerial Bombardment Officer and Former President Bernie Toso reported that For-
mer President Joe Michaels, a licensed fireworks blastmaster himself, met recently with officials from the City of Emporia to iron out details regarding ingress, egress and parking for the thousands of locals who are expected to migrate to west Emporia for the July 4 fireworks display at the Jones Aquatic Center. The members were told that at least two church parking lots in the area and the Two Rivers Youth Soccer Association field will be open to fire-
works watchers on the night of Independence Day, with bleachers being set up at T.R.Y.S.A. Former President Michaels said that the city sweetened the pot for T.R.Y.S.A. by providing a certificate of insurance and agreeing to clean up after the crowd departs from the soccer fields. Joe added that the Flint Hills Optimist Club will also be covered under the city's insurance policy, thereby making it unnecessary to obtain additional Club insurance to supplement the Optimist International liability policy.
Former President Bernie Toso told the members that a follow-up pyro-technic planning session was set for the next morning, Friday, July 26, 2009 at 8:00 a.m., and that Bernie contemplated making an appearance to meet old friends on the city staff. Bernie said that plans for the shoot were progress-ing nicely, with the city handling the thorny details of safety and crowd con-trol and our Club devoting itself mainly to blowing stuff up. Former Pres-ident Toso speculated that the Club should make a tidy profit on the fire-works display, and salivated about the eight inch mortar shells and multiple cakes that he will detonate on the Fourth. Bombardier Toso reported that the charges will not be pre-squibbed this year, but expressed confidence that the time bars which our vendor has agreed to provide will work well with the Club's state-of-the-art launch tubes. Former President Toso suggested that Club members show up at the Aquatic Center by 8:00 a.m. on the Fourth, entering the complex by the Americus Road, to do the necessary preliminary work, like sinking fence posts so the snow fence can be set up around the eight hundred foot perimeter to prevent children and other unwelcome infil-trators from penetrating the blast zone. Bernie asked the members to lend any fence posts they may have lying around the house for use at the shoot site, with the loan of a tractor having been arranged to help drive those posts into the rock-hard summer soil and pull them out again once the exhibition has concluded.
Former President Toso told the Club that the fireworks are scheduled to arrive at 8:00 a.m. on Friday, July 3, 2009, and that it may be necessary to arrange for an armed force of security guards to sit with the explosives over-night to make sure that they don't fall into the hands of terrorists. Bernie added that the detonation area has already been mowed, and that a prelimin-ary test shoot indicated that visibility might not be all that great if the winds are strong and the angle of fire has to be lowered. Former President Toso expressed optimism that churches and other private landowners near the Aquatic Center are slowly warming to the idea of a major fireworks display in their neighborhood, as evidenced by T.R.Y.S.A. loaning a portable toilet to a nearby church and a landowner offering thirty acres of pay-per-view parking, although some area business establishments are still declining to permit the viewing public to watch the shoot from their premises. Bernie also noted that the Aquatic Center will be closed during the shoot, and that there will be a heavy police presence during the blast-off on the night of the Fourth. For-
mer President Toso agreed to sketch out a not-to-scale diagram of the shoot area, and suggested that six or so Optimists should volunteer as parking attendants. Thanks go out to Former Presidents Toso, Jaggard and Fowler, Vice President Steve Graham, and the other explosives experts in the Club who have worked hard to set up a quality display for the Fourth of July.
As for the Saturday, July 11, 2009 Flint Hills Optimist Club Golf Classic and Suds Rally, Classic Co-Chairman and Former President Rich Jaggard reported with satisfaction that goods and services for hole prizes and draw-
ing winnings are coming in fast and furious, or at least quick and agitated, and Co-Chairman Parry Briggs told the members that upwards of nine teams have registered for the tournament as of press time. Parry also revealed his plan to acquire a roulette wheel or a "wheel of fortune", complete with Vanna White, as a fun way to select the prize winners when the day's golfing is done. Former President Jaggard said that the Classic Committee would meet soon to take care of last minute details. Classic Co-Chairman Mike Utech was commended for regularly e-mailing promotional flyers and entry forms to everyone west of the Mississippi who owns a computer and a set of clubs.
Former President Jaggard then told the Club that Phil Taunton's wife, Myrna, is suffering from cancer, and urged the members to keep Mrs. Taun-
ton and her entire family in their thoughts and prayers in the coming weeks.
Christmas Tree Co-Mogul and Former President Bob Glover advised the members on the six month anniversary of last Christmas that our Scotch pines, Canadian balsams, white pines, Frazier firs and Douglas firs are shooting up toward the Wisconsin summer sky, and Former President Joe Michaels agreed to hunt for buried treasure in the Club's Sit 'N Spin Wishing Well. After President Bob Burenheide earned the loudest ovation of his career by leaving early to make a bid on an air conditioning project, a weekly drawing that descended on the Club like a pestilence saw Former President Bernie Toso win $2.00 in chump change, $3.00 go to President-Elect Dr. Bryan Douglas, Vice President-Elect Bobby Thompson rake in $4.00, and the $5.00 grand prize go to Robert "Lucky Dog" Novak. The meeting adjourned without benefit of the recitation of the Optimist Creed.
THANKS GO OUT TO ACE REPORTER STEVE YOUNGER
FOR A MASTERFUL JOB IN WRITING LAST WEEK'S NEWS-
LETTER IN THIS REPORTER'S ABSENCE SHOW UP FOR
NEXT THURSDAY'S MEETING AND PLAN TO INCINERATE
EMPORIA WEST OF GRAPHIC ARTS ROAD AT THE FOURTH
OF JULY FLINT HILLS OPTIMIST CLUB FIREWORKS
DISPLAY!
A mellow and likely sedated group of ten members and one guest met at the K.S.T.C. room of the Emporia State University Memorial Union for the Thursday, June 18, 2009 meeting of the Flint Hills Optimist Club. President Bob Burenheide called the meeting to order and Past President Darrell Jones delivered the Invocation and led this motley crew in the Pledge of Allegiance. Club Sheriff Ken Hanson applied one of his few fine assessment opportunities as Past President Jones had trouble remembering the name of his guest (who also happens to be his employee). After several tries it was determined that our guest did indeed have a name, which turned out to be Mike Allard.
The first few minutes of the meeting were spent recovering from the shock of expecting to walk by the cheerleader camps on the way to the meeting and finding a librarian convention in its place. After a brief counseling session, President Burenheide assumed control of the meeting by passing around a thank you letter from the Emporia Recreation Center for our clubs sponsorship of a boys machine pitch recreation team. No one from the Rec Center was available to explain how the youth were able to hit the machine after it was pitched, so President Burenheide quickly moved the discussion to the fast approaching Fourth of July fireworks shoot. A rowdy gang of Bernie Toso, Mike Alpers, Joe Michaels, George Durler, Stan Fowler and Bob Burenheide evaded the authorities and met in an undisclosed location to iron out the details of the shoot. Important details such as R&R opportunities, refuse requirements and a possible club bar-b-que will be finalized soon. Mike Alpers led a quickly forgotten discussion on the intricacies of insurance liability coverage of fireworks shoots, which seemed to boil down to his encouragement to all members working the shoot to leave with the same number of fingers that they started the day with. Secretary-Treasurer George Durler then began to reminisce about the politics of prior relationships until Sheriff Hanson thankfully ended it by applying a large fine.
Parry Briggs then assumed the role of spokesperson for the July 11th Flint Hills Optimist Golf Tournament. He announced that at least twelve teams were on the verge of signing up, with a few having actually submitted some non-counterfeit currency to verify their interest. Members were encouraged to get their teams signed up before the upper team limit is reached (which is apparently somewhere between 20 and 100), and to continue to turn in prizes to increase the wealth of the golfers participating in the tournament. A list of out-of-town dignitaries that will be competing in the tournament will be released soon.
There being no speaker and no members in attendance that were still fully awake, President Burenheide closed the meeting by gaveling the bell shortly after being fined for receiving an incoming phone call. It was determined to pass on the Optimist Creed recitation since the meeting ended 20 minutes early, and President Burenheide had doubts that the membership in attendance could recite it within those kinds of time constraints. In a drawing that was less accurate than an Iranian presidential election, George Durler won $2, Parry Briggs received $3 and Pat Clark hit the mother lode with a $4 payout.
SHOW UP NEXT WEEK SO THAT WE CAN TRY TO REMEMBER WHAT SOME OF OUR CLUB MEMBERS STILL LOOK LIKE
Ten guys who should have known better showed up in the K.S.T.C. Room of the Emporia State University Memorial Union as President Bob Burenheide called the Thursday, June 11, 2009 meeting of the Flint Hills Optimist Club to order. Co-Chaplain and Former President Bob Glover delivered the Invocation and led the crowd, which included no guests nor new members, in the Pledge of Allegiance.
President Burenheide kicked off this week's open meeting by passing around the infamous Little Red Bucket, lightened somewhat as Secretary-Treasurer Dr. George Durler banked the money that had accumulated therein, so that the members could start all over and deposit coins and bills as an Optimist donation for childhood cancer research. President Burenheide also made Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives background forms available to those members who hadn't yet filled them out so that they could help prepare the blast site for the Club's Fourth of July fireworks display. Bob told the members that he has been trying to contact an extremely busy Barbecue Honcho, Pyrotechnic Master and Former President Bernie Toso to arrange his appearance at a upcoming meeting and have him report on the fireworks project. Former President Stan Fowler and Secretary-Treasurer Dr. George Durler told the members that they have been working with Insurance Tycoon and Former President Mike Alpers to make sure that the pyrotechnic display is covered under the Optimist International liability insurance policy, especially since it is a Flint Hills Optimist production taking place on city property surrounded by rural Lyon County real estate. Stan and George recalled that in years past the Club obtained coverage from the Rainbow Company, our fireworks vendor, in addition to the O.I. policy, just to make sure that there were no gaps in liability coverage. Former President Fowler and Secretary-Treasurer Durler added that they showed up for last Monday's lightly attended informational meeting about the fireworks display at Emporia High School, and heard the concerns expressed by area land-owners, those who own businesses on the Americus Road, and the Two Rivers Youth Soccer Association about unwelcome parking on private property by spectators, traffic flow, and trash during the fireworks display. Stan and George said that the plan is to prohibit parking by fireworks watchers on the Americus Road and West 18th Avenue west of Graphic Arts Road, with some parking to be allowed on Graphic Arts Road and West 30th. Plans for the big Fourth of July Fireworks Blitz will continue during coming weeks.
As for the recently concluded Flint Hills Optimist Club election, President Burenheide announced the following final results: in a cliffhanger, Dr. Bryan Douglas defeated a field of no opponents for President, Ken "The Sheriff" Hanson and Bobby Thompson were elected First and Second Vice Presidents, respectively, Dr. George Durler will once again provide his finan-
cial expertise as Secretary-Treasurer, and the four new members of the Board of Directors are Dr. Betsy Yanik, Parry Briggs, Robert Sullivan, and a chagrined Former President Bob Glover, with Bob and Robert tying for second place in the popular vote. President Burenheide advised the members that he is keeping the actual ballots in case any legal challenges to the election end up in the United States Supreme Court. Congratulations and thanks go out to the new officers and directors for their willingness to lead our Club in the coming year.
In other Club business, President Burenheide passed around a message from Former District Governor Ruth Nelson, asking for assistance in putting on a state-wide Optimist golf tournament as a fundraiser for Camp Quality, a recreational facility that serves children with cancer. Any Optimist golf pros willing to help are urged to contact Former Gov. Nelson at once. Bob added that At Home Health Care has asked to present a program to our Club about home health services for the elderly at a future meeting, perhaps one that could be attended by Former President Mike Pruisner. Secretary-Treasurer Dr. George Durler suggested that the director of the Memorial Union be invited to speak to the Club sometime in the next few weeks.
President Burenheide reminded the members that Former President Steve Mollach has stepped down as Chairman and sole member of the Flint Hills Optimist Club/Chris Cakes Pancake Feed Committee, and that an eager volunteer from the ranks of a pretty rank Flint Hills Optimist Club is needed to take over this October's pancake party. President Burenheide also made applications available for anyone interested in swinging a club in the Saturday, July 11, 2009 Flint Hills Optimist Club Golf Classic, and the members learned that Janna Stegmaier and a few other industrious Optimists have already donated gifts to be used as hole prizes and drawing giveaways. Any other members who want to contribute prizes should stack them on Classic Co-Chairman Mike Utech's desk at Frontier Farm Credit.
The members sent out an urgent appeal for more Flint Hills Optimists to show up for the Thursday luncheon meetings this summer, noting that Parry Briggs is wearing himself to a frazzle attending to the high school dancers and cheerleaders who roam the Memorial Union on a weekly basis. Jeff Cope raised eyebrows among the golfers by suggesting that the young dancers and cheerleaders be recruited to serve drinks and greet those participating in the Flint Hills Optimist Club Golf Classic next month. After Jeff's idea reminded Former President Bob Glover of a disturbing story about a buxom college volleyball star who distracted golfers at a tournament that Bob played in some time back, it was time to break up the meeting.
Prior to leaving a recitation of the Optimist Creed for another day, a barely acceptable weekly drawing saw this reporter impersonate Main Street Mary by winning $2.00, $3.00 go to Former President Stan Fowler, and Former President Bob Glover win $5.00 in ill-gotten gains.
SHOW UP FOR NEXT THURSDAY'S MEETING AND ENJOY THE SCENERY EN ROUTE TO THE K.S.T.C. ROOM!
Eleven verbal arsonists convened in the K.S.T.C. Room of the Emporia State University Memorial Union as President Bob Burenheide called the Thursday, June 4, 2009 meeting of the Flint Hills Optimist Club to order. Co-Chaplain and Former President Darrell Jones was eloquent as he delivered the Invocation and led the group in the Pledge of Allegiance. This week's only guest was Matthew "Long Rider" Fowler, sponsored by his father, Former President Stan Fowler.
As the scheduled guest speaker was called away at the last minute due to a family medical emergency, President Burenheide started this week's open meeting by passing around the Little Red Bucket so that the members could contribute to Optimist International's ongoing fight against juvenile cancer, and also circulated a flyer about the upcoming Art in the Garden fundraiser for Camp Alexander on behalf of the unavoidably detained Vice President Steve "Doc" Graham, as well as a note of thanks from Sandra Hammerl for our Club's sponsorship of her attendance at American Legion Girls' State.
As for the Tuesday, June 2, 2009 monthly meeting of the Flint Hills Optimist Club Board of Directors, President Burenheide reported that the directors discussed the upcoming community Fourth of July fireworks shoot that our Club plans to stage, not surprisingly, on the Fourth of July. Bob told the members that Former President Bernie Toso is on top of the project, and will give information at a community meeting about the pyrotechnics display on Monday, June 8, 2009 at Emporia High School. Since the likelihood is that this year's fireworks extravaganza will be launched at the aquatics center, concerns about traffic tie-ups and non-radioactive fallout
will be addressed at the meeting. Former President Toso also will be on K.V.O.E. radio to answer questions about the fireworks shoot, and the Club learned that Bernie and Former President Stan Fowler, now a licensed pyrotechnic bombardier himself, recently met with local law enforcement and fire personnel to discuss safety issues and logistics associated with the display.
Insurance Baron and Former President Mike Alpers inquired whether Optimist International would cover the shoot under its insurance policy, and whether there is or will be a contract between our Club and Lyon County, the financial underwriter of the fireworks show. President Burenheide resolved that the Club's leadership would check those details with Former President Toso and the applicable government officials, and confirmed that the Flint Hills Optimists plan to make a reasonable net profit from the money that the county will shell out for the shoot after we pay the fireworks vendor, especially since our launch tubes are now paid in full. The Club's brain trust agreed to provide Optimist International a list of upcoming projects, and to set up a thousand foot perimeter at the fireworks display so as to avoid collateral damage to civilians and their property. President Burenheide also called for anyone interested in working the shoot after the fireworks have been unloaded to fill out the A.T.F. background check forms well in advance of Independence Day and turn them in to him.
In other Club business, President Burenheide said that the board pondered the July 11, 2009 Flint Hills Optimist Club Golf Classic, posters and application blanks for which were passed around to the members. Classic Co-Chairmen Mike Utech and Former President Rich Jaggard urged the Club's members to contribute hole prizes for the tournament, and suggested a hole-in-one or longest drive side contest, the proceeds of which could be donated to the Emporia Public Library's summer reading program. Secretary-Treasurer Dr. George Durler told the members that money earned from the golf classic is designated for administrative and membership recruitment purposes, and not directly for charitable donations. Former President Mike Alpers raised the possibility of a corporate tent at the Classic and volunteered to contact former Enron or G.M. executives about sponsoring same, or failing that, borrowing Howard Magathan's bunny costume-changing tent that he generously loans for the Easter Egg Hunt. Classic Co-Chairmen Utech and Jaggard urged the Club's golfers and guests to register for the shoot-out and pay their $65 per golfer fees early so as to avoid the last-minute rush.
President Burenheide then advised the members that the recently retired Former President Steve Mollach has elected to step down as Chairman of the annual Flint Hills Optimist Club/Chris Cakes Pancake Feed, but has agreed to offer sage advice to any Optimist who might volunteer to ramrod the feed this October. Bob then passed around ballots to those members present who had not previously voted in this year's Club elections so that they could unanimously elect Dr. Bryan Douglas as President, Ken "The Sheriff" Hanson and Bobby Thompson as Vice Presidents, Dr. George Durler as Secretary-Treasurer instead Jessica "I Do Not Choose to Run" Kirk, and the top four vote-getters among Former President Darrell Jones, Former President Bob Glover, Janna Stegmaier, Parry Briggs, Dr. Betsy Yanik, Former President Mike Alpers, and Robert Sullivan for the Board of Directors. Results will be announced next week, barring court challenges.
Finally, Christmas Tree sales legend and Former President Bob Glover announced that he has embarked on a new career in management at Prairie Port Plaza, a job that will occupy him during weekdays next Christmas tree season. As a result, Bob will be unable to man the tree lot during the afternoon hours, meaning some other Club Yuletide hero will be needed to show up at Guion's parking lot, drink beer and schnapps, eat peanuts, get friendly with female customers, and sell three trees each afternoon until the night shift arrives. Former President Glover said that he will still be available to place the annual tree order and serve as a Christmas tree consultant to his successor.
Before the meeting came to a merciful end without recitation of the Optimist Creed, a weekly drawing that was the epitome of grace and elegance saw Casey Woods carry on the Main Street Mary tradition by winning $2.00, $4.00 go to Former President Stan Fowler, and this reporter laugh all the way to the bank with the $5.00 grand prize.
DON'T LET YOURSELF BE THE VICTIM OF UGLY RUMORS--SHOW UP NEXT THURSDAY FOR THE JUNE 11, 2009 MEETING OF THE FLINT HILLS OPTIMIST CLUB!
Ten members with no regard for civility and one guest were on hand as President Bob Burenheide called the May 28, 2009 meeting of the Flint Hills Optimist Club to order. Co-Chaplain and Former President Darrell Jones delivered the Invocation and led the crowd in the Pledge of Allegiance, with Lori Heller, sponsored by President Burenheide, being the only guest.
President Burenheide started this week's meeting by passing around the Little Red Bucket and collecting coin and bills to support Optimist International's fight against childhood cancer. Bob then took a quick survey and determined that no Flint Hills Optimists made it to the Lyon County Fairgrounds last Thursday to help put on the annual Keep It a Safe Summer (K.I.S.S.) activities fair sponsored by Emporians for Drug Awareness. President Burenheide then surveyed the scene and acknowledged that the second installment of the annual Club elections still haven't been completed, but probably will be next Thursday, so that the names of the president, vice presidents, secretary-treasurer, and four new board members for 2009-2010 may be forwarded to Optimist International.
In other items of Club business, President Burenheide passed out a quantity of "Employee Possessor Questionnaire" forms that had been acquired from the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, and directed any member who wants to help set up the Club's Fourth of July fireworks shoot after the explosives have been brought out of the truck to fill out the forms and turn them back in to Bob. Former President Stan Fowler revealed that he and Former President Joe Michaels were recently notified that they passed their pyrotechnic expert exams, and are now qualified to blow stuff up on behalf of the Flint Hills Optimist Club.
President Bob Burenheide then reported that Former District Governor Ruth Nelson contacted him recently in search of someone who has expertise in putting on golf tournaments and who would be willing to help set up and coordinate the District's golf shoot-out on at 8:00 a.m. on August 14, 2009 in Olathe, Kansas. Former President Darrell Jones suggested that this request is a perfect example why our Club should assemble how-to manuals so that future generations of Flint Hills Optimists will have guidance on the proper way to run successful Club projects after the current crop of members has gone to that Big Christmas Tree Lot in the Sky.
As the meeting lurchred on, this reporter thanked Vice President Steve "Doc" Graham for helping unload equipment at that morning's American Red Cross Bloodmobile, the members confessed ignorance about everything associated with this year's Flint Hills Optimist Club Golf Classic except that it will take place on July 11, 2009 at the Municipal Course, and President Burenheide noted that the Skyline Room will reopen next Thursday and that the normal menu will be available to the Optimists. After Secretary-Treasurer Dr. George Durler collected from some members for the cold cuts served the past two weeks and promised to send bills to the rest of the Club's diners, President Bob Burenheide served as Program Chairman and introduced Lori Heller as this week's guest speaker. Mrs. Heller addressed the members about this year's summer reading program at the Emporia Public Library, and began by thanking the Club for its annual donation which helps underwrite the reading promotion efforts. Mrs. Heller said that the goals of the summer reading program are to develop positive attitudes about reading among area children, help them to keep their reading skills sharp during summer vacation, and encourage kids and their families to patronize all of the services offered by the Emporia Public Library.
Mrs. Heller said that in 2008, one thousand one hundred eight kids read more than six hundred seventy-one thousand minutes, and that so far his year over six hundred sixty children have signed up for the reading program. The speaker added that she and her new assistant addressed area grade schools to promote the program, and that the library cooperates with other Emporia youth initiatives, such as the Salvation Army Day Camp and the Early Child-hood Skills Group, to encourage reading by Lyon County kids. Mrs. Heller passed around calendars which detailed the activities offered to children as part of this summer's reading program, the theme of which is "Be Creative @ Your Library." The Club was told that in addition to the reading promotion, the Emporia Public Library will host other activities during the summer of 2009, such as Friday afternoon movies, complete with popcorn, Brown Bag Concerts every Wednesday, the kick-off which will take place on June 3, 2009 and feature the popular Mr. Stinky Feet, a drama workshop by a retired theater teacher from Great Bend, "Treasures From Trash" instruction on how to make attractive arts and crafts from recycled refuse, a dance party with Americus Principal Aaron Dot as the deejay, and story time for infants and toddlers.
Mrs. Heller passed around a plastic bag containing the stickers, reading tally books and other materials given to every kid who signs up for the summer reading program, and said that each child is encouraged to read at least one hundred minutes per week and document each minute spent with nose in book in the aforesaid reading logs. At the season-ending summer reading celebration, which this year will be held at the Granada Theater and feature musical entertainment by singer Mickey Harper of Oklahoma, the top readers among the youthful participants will be awarded prizes such as snazzy book bags and colorful tee shirts. After answering questions from the audience, Mrs. Heller concluded her presentation and received applause from the members, yet another Optimist mug from President Bob Burenheide, and a check for $500 from Secretary-Treasurer Dr. George Durler and President Burenheide as this year's budgeted donation from the Flint Hills Optimist Club.
In a weekly drawing that read like a pornographic novel, money was won by Vice President Steve "Doc" Graham, President Burenheide, and second time-ever winner Janna Stegmaier, while everyone else got poor.
RECENT ATTENDANCE AT FLINT HILLS OPTIMST CLUB MEETINGS HAS BEEN LOWER THAN FRED PHELPS' APPROVAL RATING IN A GAY BAR--SHOW UP NEXT THURSDAY AND VOTE IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY CAST A BALLOT!
A dozen verbal snipers showed up at the K.S.T.C. Room of the Emporia State University Memorial Union for the Thursday, May 21, 2009 meeting of the Flint Hills Optimist Club. President Bob Burenheide lamented the lack of a podium, banner, bell, and drawing materials, and informally started the meeting without an Invocation or recitation of the Pledge of Allegiance after Former President Mike Alpers was chastised for mowing his lawn in a hail
storm and for a surreptitious and unsolicited dirt delivery to Dr. John Heim's residence. The aforesaid Dr. Heim, sponsored by Secretary-Treasurer Dr. George Durler, and Matthew Fowler, brought by his father, Former President Stan Fowler, were this week's only guests.
President Burenheide started the business portion of the meeting by passing around notes from Olpe and Northern Heights High Schools which thanked the Flint Hills Optimist Club for donations that helped fund their respective post-prom parties. Bob then reported that he has been in contact with pyrotechnic expert and Former President Bernie Toso, who, in turn, has conferred with the Emporia City Commission and the Lyon County Commission about the mechanics of our Club putting on a community fireworks spectacular this Fourth of July. President Burenheide passed around forms to be filled out by any Optimists who want to be in Lyon County when the fireworks are unloaded on Independence Day, so that they may obtain the requisite background checks.
In other Club business, the Flint Hills Optimist Club extended congratulations and best wishes to Former President Steve Mollach, whose retirement reception was held last Wednesday at U.S.D. 251 offices in Americus, Kansas. President Burenheide then inquired if any members intended to volunteer to cook hot dogs for those attending the Emporians for Drug Awareness Keep It a Safe Summer (K.I.S.S.) event fair at the Lyon County Fairgrounds that very afternoon, and received only silence in return. This reporter got a similar reception when asking whether any Flint Hills Optimists might be available to unload equipment from the Red Cross Bloodmobile from 11:00 a.m. to 11:45 a.m. at the Westminster Presbyterian Church, 1702 W. 15th Ave., next Thursday, May 28, 2009, and load it back up the next day, Friday, May 28, 2009 at 2:30 p.m. The task does not involve heavy lifting, and any members who would like to help should call this reporter at the Lyon County Attorney's Office (341-3263), at home (342-8781), or by return e-mail to rbuckesq@peoplepc.com.
After President Burenheide reminded the members that we will meet at the K.S.T.C. Room next Thursday and enjoy cold cuts, chips, brownies and cookies while the E.S.U. cafeteria is on semester break, and passed around the Little Red Bucket so the members could chip in to help Optimist International raise research money to combat childhood cancer, Bob turned the meeting over to Program Chairman and Secretary-Treasurer Dr. George Durler, who introduced Dr. John Heim, U.S.D. 253 Superintendent of Schools, as this week's guest speaker. With the aid of a slide projector, Dr. Heim presented a "good news, bad news" report on the state of U.S.D. 253. Despite tight budgets in recent years and increasing numbers of poor, minority and non-English speaking students, test scores among Emporia students have steadily risen.
Dr. Heim showed slides depicting graphs of assessment data which revealed that academic achievement as measured by test scores has steadily improved even though the percentage of Hispanic students had increased from 29% to 52% of the school population, kids who speak English as second language went up from 7% to 33%, and those in lower socioeconomic brackets, as determined by kids qualifying for free school lunches, shot up from 45% to 65%, with even steeper increases in the past year due to the staggering economy. Notwithstanding the challenges, Dr. Heim reported that reading and math achievement scores in every subgroup recognized by the No Child Left Behind federal education standards have gone up in Emporia schools in recent years. The speaker said that the percentage of kids with disabilities who are proficient in reading has shot up from an abysmal 22% to 60%, and the increase among children for whom English is a second language increased from 30% to 70%, with math proficiency in that group going from 48% to 80%.
Dr. Heim told the Club that teaching reading and math is more of a science than an art these days, with teachers trained to analyze and address specific deficiencies by using targeted testing and remedial interventions. As a result, the percentage of students who are dangerously inept at reading has dropped from 14% to 7% since 2002, and the percentage of those who perform academically at an exemplary level has rocketed from 10% to 28%, both in reading and mathematics.
As for school finance, Dr. Heim pointed out that the school district did not lose the anticipated six hundred to eight hundred students that it feared might disappear after the Tyson layoffs, a blow which would have resulted in massive cuts in state funds to U.S.D. 253. Nonetheless, the district did lose a couple of hundred students, but the financial impact was lessened by prudent advance planning by the board in reducing expenditures and legislative action which softened the blow, at least for the immediate future. Dr. Heim laid out the best and worst case scenarios for the upcoming three years, and said that the level of future funding will depend on whether and how fast the economy turns around and what student enrollment may be in the next few years. The speaker also explained the weighting factors that result in U.S.D. 253 receiving increased funding due to high levels of at-risk, bi-lingual, vocational, and other categories of students, and the benefits and drawbacks of federal stimulus money received by the district. After fielding numerous questions, the members applauded as Dr. Heim concluded his presentation.
The members departed without a drawing or the recitation of the Optimist Creed, with President Burenheide encouraging all Flint Hills Optimists to show up next Thursday as Lori Heller of the Emporia Public Library will address the Club about the library's summer reading program.
SHOW UP NEXT WEEK, SLAP TOGETHER A SANDWICH, AND PROTECT YOURSELF IN CASE THE SECOND STAGE OF CLUB ELECTIONS FLARES UP!
A savvy crowd of sixteen filed into the K.S.T.C. Room of the Emporia State University Memorial Union on May 14, 2009 to cover their respective backsides at the Election Day I meeting of the Flint Hills Optimist Club. Vice President Steve "Doc" Graham filled in for the unavoidably detained President Bob Burenheide and called the meeting to order, followed by a fine Invocation delivered by Co-Chaplain and Former President Bob Glover. This week's only guest was Vice President Graham's wife, Dr. Tracey Graham, although the Club welcomed Jessica Kirk and Brian DeWitt back to the weekly Thursday verbal rumble.
In a chaotic electoral scenario reminiscent of the 2000 presidential showdown in Florida, the Optimists decided that nominations may or may not be closed, write-in votes might or might not be allowed, and that if anyone who was nominated last week has declined to run, the members would just pretend that it never happened and that the full slate would be submitted to the members for balloting. Secretary-Treasurer Dr. George Durler wrote the names of the nominees on the chalk board, those brave men and women being Dr. Bryan Douglas for President, Sheriff Ken Hanson for First Vice President, Bobby Thompson for Second Vice President, Dr. George Durler and Janna Stegmaier for Secretary-Treasurer (even though Janna's name appeared on the ballot without her permission or even a formal nomination), and Former President Mike Alpers, Parry Briggs, Robert Sullivan, Former President Bob Glover, Janna Stegmaier, and Former President Darrell Jones running for four seats on the board of directors. After Sheriff Ken Hanson fined Former President Jones for practicing the politics of personal destruction, blank sheets of paper were passed around so that those present could vote for the candidates of their choice. Those who were unable to vote this week will have the opportunity to cast their ballots next Thursday.
In other Club business, Vice President Steve "Doc" Graham passed around an eleven month old note of thanks from Dr. Tracey Graham, and Former Presidents Jones and Glover reported that arrangements have been made to meet in the K.S.T.C. Room the next two Thursdays, May 21 and 28, even though E.S.U. will be on break after the conclusion of the spring semester. After some discussion, the members voted to have the Union food staff cater a cold luncheon of sandwiches, potato salad, cookies and the like for $8.50 for the next two weeks.
After being fined for tripping over an electrical cord, Vice President Graham served as fill-in chief executive, loyal and supportive spouse, and program chairman all at once by introducing his wife, Dr. Tracey Graham, as this week's guest speaker. Dr. Graham presented a slide show depicting fun moments at last summer's Farmers' Market and the October 11, 2008 Harvest Festival that capped the season at the market. The Optimists saw photos of a Darrell Jones lookalike driving a tractor which pulled fifty-five gallon barrels on wheels occupied by delighted children, smaller kids participating in the water melon roll, youngsters wolfing down whole melons in the water melon eating contest, and kids with more powerful mouths spitting water melon seeds all over the parking lot on Merchant Street for fame and prizes. Dr. Graham also showed a slide of some delicious pies, and told the members that this year's pie contest will take place on June 24, 2009.
Dr. Graham said that sales at last year's Farmers' Market were up 25% from 2007, and that the market is off to an even stronger start in 2009. The Club was told that the market boasts nine new vendors, K.V.O.E. covers the produce and bakery sales extensively, and Dr. Graham has her own radio spot just before the market opens on Saturday mornings and Wednesday evenings. In addition, Dr. Graham reported that this year's Farmer's Market honors E.B.T. cards, debit cards, and Vision cards, and the produce producers are on a pace to exceed the $1,000 in food donations to the Abundant Harvest food kitchen in 2008. Other features that bring out the crowds are the apple press, by which fresh cider is produced right before the eyes of the customers, and the Veggie Valets, young people who carry purchases to the vehicles of those who patronize the market. Dr. Graham passed around Farmers' Market literature and Market Money, the latter which can be spent only at the market, and invited local non-profit groups to hold fundraisers at the market throughout the summer and fall, noting also that the Farmers' Market generated $75,000 in sales and $5,000 in local tax revenues in 2008. The members applauded Dr. Graham for her informative presentation, and showed their respect by not electing her to Club office.
In a rotten turnip of a weekly drawing, Former President Darrell Jones raised howls of protest by winning $3.00, $4.50 went to Steve Younger, and Former President Bob Glover walked off with $4.00 and a superball from the Sit 'N Spin. A feeble recitation of the Optimist Creed died in childbirth, and the members slunk away in embarrassment.
SHOW UP AT E.S.U. NEXT THURSDAY FOR A SANDWICH LUNCH WITH ALL THE TRIMMINGS, AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR LAST CHANCE TO VOTE EVERYONE ELSE EXCEPT YOURSELF INTO OFFICE!
Twelve members and a guest put on their hip waders and assembled in the K.S.T.C. Room of the Emporia State University Memorial Union as President Bob Burenheide called the May 7, 2009 meeting of the Flint Hills Optimist Club to order. Co-Chaplain and Former President Bob Glover delivered the Invocation and led the group in the Pledge of Allegiance. This week's only guest was Mike Dorsey, sponsored by Former President Stan Fowler.
After the Club's fine machine, Sheriff Ken Hanson, levied a quarter on Former President Stan Fowler for not affixing his name badge to his shirt, President Burenheide passed the Little Red Bucket around the table so that those present could contribute to the ongoing Optimist fight against childhood cancer. Bob also circulated a card from the Granada Theater encouraging the local populace to attend the classic movies held the first Thursday of each month at the renovated theater, and to meet the theater's new executive director sometime soon. The members also examined an attractive invitation to Former President Steve Mollach's retirement reception at the USD 251 board offices in Americus, Kansas from 3:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. on May 26, 2009, and a written plea from Emporians for Drug Awareness for help cooking burgers and otherwise putting on the dog at the Keep It a Safe Summer (K.I.S.S.) event for area youth on May 21, 2009 from 4:30 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. at the Lyon County Fairgrounds.
President Burenheide reported that the board met on May 5, 2009, and gave formal approval to Casey Woods' membership application. Welcome goes out to Casey, the latest in a long line of Main Street executives to join the Club. The board also discussed strategies for improving attendance at the Thursday meetings, and made plans for this month's election of Club officers. In a few minutes of recriminations and acrimony, Dr. Bryan Douglas was nominated for President of the Flint Hills Optimist Club, Sheriff Ken Hanson for First Vice President, Bobby Thompson for Second Vice President, and Parry Briggs, Dr. Betsy Yanik, Janna Stegmaier, Former President Mike Alpers, Robert Sullivan and Bob Glover were put on the ballot to fill three positions on the board of directors. The nominations ceased temporarily, but any member of the Flint Hills Optimist Club may submit additional nominations for 2008-2009 by e-mailing them to this reporter at rbuckesq@peoplepc.com or rbuck@lyoncounty.org before I leave the courthouse for next Thursday's meeting. The elections themselves will be held at the next two meetings on May 14 and May 21, and all members are urged to show up and vote at least once.
After Sheriff Hanson's super sensitive ears heard President Burenheide's cell phone vibrate from clear across the room and fined Bob excessively, the members discussed the need for alternative meeting arrangements for May 21 and May 28, when the Memorial Union may or may not be available to cater luncheons during the break before the summer semester. Courtney Graves, Executive Director of Big Brothers/Big Sisters of the Flint Hills, issued an appeal for muscular Optimists to help move her organization's desks, file cabinets and other light-as-a-feather furnishings to the Kress Center on May 13-14, 2009. Courtney also thanked Former President Mike "Pin Terminator" Alpers, Robert "Gunslinger" Novak, Steve "Left Hook" Younger, Rick "7-10 Split" Buck, and Head Bowling Coach and Beer-tender for President Bob Burenheide for participating in the May 2, 2009 Big Brothers/Big Sisters Bowl for Kids' Sake Bowling Classic. After Sheriff Ken Hanson fined Vice President Steve "Doc" Graham for e-mail trickery and this reporter for asking impertinent questions of Courtney Graves, then again for being a tightwad, President Burenheide passed around a notice from Former Kansas District Governor Ruth Nelson which announced efforts to organize a state-wide Optimist golf tournament to raise money for Camp Quality.
President Burenheide then turned the lectern over to Program Chairman and Former President Stan Fowler, who, in turn, introduced Mike Dorsey as this week's guest speaker. Mr. Dorsey, who spoke to the Club a year ago about the new playground at Peter Pan Park, told the members that the super sophisticated play equipment had been in operation for a year on May 4, 2009, and that his organization donated $3,900 to the City of Emporia to be used as maintenance for that playground. Mr. Dorsey then told the Optimists that his latest project is Emporia Community Organization Active in Disaster, an offshoot of the local Healthier Community Alliance group.
The members were told that E.C.O.A.D., which will eventually be renamed to reflect service to all of Lyon County, is modeled on a six county colossus in the Kansas City area which seeks to organize volunteers, especially those from other cities and states, in times of local emergency. Mr. Dorsey passed around brochures and said that when a disaster such as the Greensburg tornado strikes, it is imperative to identify, orient and train the numerous volunteers who show up and would otherwise wander aimlessly around the disaster scene.
Telling the Club that "response to disaster depends on us", Mr. Dorsey stated that his group is making plans to establish a local Volunteer Reception Center where those who wish to help in time of local emergency could be identified, screened and trained before being turned loose within the disaster area perimiter set up by law enforcement or the National Guard. Mr. Dorsey said that his group has been working closely with local Emergency Coordinator Rick Frevert to develop guidelines and procedures so as to ensure maximum benefit from the volunteers who will be assigned to assist law enforcement officers, road and bridge personnel, and mental health specialists, depending on their individual qualifications. The speaker further said that one of the primary goals of C.O.A.D. is to fill gaps and avoid needless duplication of services in the aftermath of disasters, as well as to serve as a clearinghouse in order to obtain supplies and materials that are really needed and to cut off donations of those that are already in adequate supply, thereby enhancing the chances for receipt of federal funding.
Once the volunteers have been adequately processed, the Volunteer Reception Center would morph into a Victim Response Center where those directly affected by the disaster would be referred to the appropriate agencies and service providers to meet their needs. Mr. Dorsey noted that, in Lyon County, the Volunteer Response Center could be expected to organize five hundred volunteers daily, and over three thousand during the course of the disaster. Mr. Dorsey added that he hopes to get twelve to fifteen people to make preliminary plans and acquire the necessary resources within the next six weeks, and to hold an E.C.O.A.D. open house sometime next month. After answering questions, Mr. Dorsey concluded his presentation and was applauded by the members.
Before ditching the Optimist Creed and going back to work, a groin kick of a weekly drawing saw Courtney Graves win $3.00, $4.00 go to Robert Novak, $5.00 land in Parry Briggs' pocket, and Former President Stan Fowler win a combination flashlight, pocket knife and machine gun.
SHOW UP NEXT THURSDAY WHEN DR. TRACEY GRAHAM WILL SPEAK TO THE CLUB, AND GET REVENGE ON YOUR FELLOW OPTIMISTS BY VOTING THEM INTO OFFICE!
A tart-tongued crowd of eighteen was on hand as President Bob Burenheide called the April 30, 2009 meeting of the Flint Hills Optimist Club to order in the K.S.T.C. Room of the E.S.U. Memorial Union. Co-Chaplain and Former President Bob Glover delivered the Invocation and led the group in the Pledge of Allegiance. This week's guests were Main Street Executive Director Casey Woods, who also turned in his membership application, and Former President Don Noller, who dropped by briefly to soak up a warm welcome from the Club and to promise that he would return next week with a prospective new Flint Hills Optimist.
A frenetic Sheriff Ken "Buger" Hanson leaped into action by fining Former President Noller for subtly advertising his place of employment, and Secretary-Treasurer Dr. George Durler for dissing Former President Mike Pruisner, who sent a letter to the Club from the wilds of Iowa reporting that Mrs. Pruisner was doing well and that Mike missed Mexican food days at the Memorial Union greatly.
After Sheriff Hanson fined Former President Darrell Jones for some remark about applause that everyone else ignored, President Burenheide started this week's open meeting by acknowledging the fine turnout at last week's Youth Appreciation Week luncheon and leading the members in a round of applause for Janna Stegmaier, Dr. Betsy Yanik, and Secretary-Treasurer Dr. George Durler for excellent work in planning the banquet and welcoming the honored students. President Burenheide then asked if the members were getting the District newsletter by e-mail and stated that he was aghast to learn that no one from our Club was able to attend last week's Quarterly Board Meeting of the Kansas District of Optimist International, with Former President Mike Alpers' facetious claim that he represented the Flint Hills Optimists at the convention falling on deaf and cynical ears. Steve Younger was fined by Sheriff Hanson for one wisecrack or another, and Presiden Burenheide pointed out that a photo of our April 11, 2009 Easter Egg Hunt found its way into the District newsletter. Plans were made for pictures of the honorees who attended last week's Youth Appreciation Week banquet to be submitted to the Friends and Family Section of the Emporia Gazette as well as the District bulletin.
As for the Saturday, May 2, 2009 Big Brothers/Big Sisters Bowl for Kids' Sake Fundraiser and Brew Fest, BB/BS Director Courtney Graves took a poll to see how many lanes the Optimist bowlers would need for the annual pin massacre. Sheriff Hanson fined Parry Briggs for starting his own team of free agent bowling ringers who, unlike the Optimists, concentrate on their averages instead of their blood alcohol concentrations. Courtney said that she expected sixteen teams to compete, and offered the Club's gutter ball artists the option of collecting pledges or purchasing Big Brothers/Sisters raffle tickets at $1.00 each or six for $5.00. The members were enticed to show up at Flint Hills Lanes by promises of dollar draws, free pizza, prize drawings, and sorority girls by the hundreds.
Former Presidents Joe Michaels and Darrell Jones were praised for accompanying Roger, the Sit 'N Spin guru, around town and selling advertising to local businesses who will post cards on the wishing well. Secretary-Treasurer Dr. George Durler reported that the Club was making a modest profit on the Wish 'N Spin donations and a cut of the ad revenues, thanks in large part to Former President Michaels' affability and local business connections, not to mention his hard work in managing the well. Joe could not escape the wrath of Sheriff Hanson, however, and was fined for claiming that if he received $1.00 per hour for his Sit 'N Spin efforts it would eclipse the Club's Chirstmas tree lot profits in 2008.
President Burenheide then passed around the Little Red Bucket so that the members could contribute cash money for the Optimist fight against childhood cancer, and acknowledged the receipt of a receipt from the Emporia Recreation Center for a recent donation. Bob told the members that the time is drawing near for the Club to make plans for putting on the July 4, 2009 Flint Hills Optimist Club Community Fireworks Display, and for those members who plan to actually handle the explosives to fill out the paperwork and get their boom-boom licenses. The members were also told that Lori Heller and Beverly Hartsook of the Emporia Public Library have contacted the Club about making their annual appearance to publicize the library's Summer Reading Program, and President Burenheide reminded the officers and board members that the board will meet at noon on Tuesday, May 5, 2009, the latter announcement prompting a comment by Steve Younger about how Former President Rich Jaggard whiffed on e-mailing the April minutes, with Steve losing money to Sheriff Hanson as a result and Rich being fined for a biting retort.
Secretary-Treasurer Dr. George Durler reminded the members that Club elections will be held next month, with the results to be reported to Optimist International by May 31. George encouraged all members with a shred of decency to seriously consider running for a board position or other office. The members were then told that Dr. Tracey Graham will address the Club on May 14, and Dr. Durler was fined by Sheriff Graham for scaring President Burenheide with a misstatement about Mrs. Burenheide's birthday, with Bob expressing relief that he only had to buy his wife a present and not pass out cigars to the Optimists.
In other Club business, Casey Woods said that there are two local groups making preliminary plans for resurrecting the community's Twin River Festival this year, and questions were asked about whether our Club would be invited to participate in the big event if it gets off the ground. Sheriff Hanson kept a tight rein on the discussion by fining Former President Stan Fowler for volunteering one or more luckless Optimists to be in charge of a Club float in the Twin Rivers Festival Parade. The members then considered whether to have the annual Flint Hills Optimist Club Golf Classic again this year, with Former President Rich Jaggard offering July 11, 2009 as a date for the tourney. The wheels came off the rest of the meeting, with Former President Bob Glover announcing that he has petitioned Congress for a Christmas tree lot financial bailout and Steve Younger being fined into bankruptcy for suggesting that the Club take fundraising tips from Somalian pirates.
After Robert Sullivan's ugly dog of a weekly drawing saw $3.00 go to Former President Bob Glover, Sheriff Ken Hanson and Secretary-Treasurer Dr. George Durler win $4.00 each, and the $5.00 grand prize and some cheesy license plate frame go to Steve Younger, the meeting ground to a halt with a recitation of the Optimist Creed, with cue cards being distributed to those who needed them.
SHRUG OFF COMMON DECENCY AND SHOW UP FOR NEXT THURSDAY'S MEETING OF THE FLINT HILLS OPTIMIST CLUB
Thirty-seven members and guests were in attendance as President Bob Burenheide called the Thursday, April 23, 2009 Youth Appreciation Week meeting of the Flint Hills Optimist Club to order in, appropriately enough, the Flint Hills Room of the Emporia State University Memorial Union. Co-Chaplain and Former President Darrell Jones delivered the Invocation and led the assemblage in the Pledge of Allegiance. This week's guests included Kelsey Fowler, brought by her father, Former President Stan Fowler; Dr. Tracey Graham, whose husband, Vice President Steve "Doc" Graham, sponsored her in absentia; Jeanine McKenna, the guest of the Club; and dozens of area high school seniors and their faculty mentors, a more complete list of whom is set forth hereinbelow.
After welcoming the crowd and performing the opening formalities flawlessly, President Burenheide turned the lectern over to this week's special guest speaker, Jeanine McKenna, Chief Executive Officer of the Emporia Area Chamber of Commerce. Mrs. McKenna congratulated the honored seniors from Emporia, Northern Heights, Olpe and Hartford High Schools who were congregated in the room, and told them that she asked for advice from her husband, Mark, and staff members at the Chamber of Commerce, noting that they ranged in age from the 20's to the 50's, about what nuggets of wisdom she could impart to the students. Those whom Mrs. McKenna canvassed suggested telling the young people to strive for what they want in life and not to settle for less, to never quit learning, that there are always many opportunities despite wild fluctuations in economic conditions, and to never let fear of the unknown stop them from pursuing their goals. Mrs. McKenna's associates also advised the youngsters to be open-minded to ideas expressed by others, think outside whatever box they find themselves in at the time, to always do their best, and to enjoy life while they can.
The speaker said that she then combed the Internet for additional sage advice to relay to the young people, and came up with these pearls: enjoy the power and beauty of youth until it fades away; there are always great possibilities around the corner; you are more attractive than you think you are, and if you don't believe it, check out your picture in the high school yearbook in twenty years; don't worry, because worry isn't effective in solving problems;
sing a lot; do at least one scary thing every day; avoid jealousy; floss your teeth; it's all right if you don't know what you're going to do with your life at age eighteen; get enough calcium and take care of your knees; you may get married and have children or you may not; don't congratulate yourself too enthusiastically when things go right, and don't berate yourself when things go wrong; live in New York City but leave before you get hard, live in California but leave before you get soft, and then return home to Kansas; prices will rise and politicians will philander, but you will look back on the good old days when prices were reasonable and you could trust politicians; support yourself; life is a series of small graduations, not one big graduation; never think that you have learned all there is to learn about yourself; get to know your parents; and don't be reckless with other peoples' hearts. Mrs. McKenna urged the seniors to read the cards containing the Optimist Creed which were distributed among them, and take the Creed to heart as they embark on their adult lives. The speaker then congratulated the students on their accomplishments and their impending graduation as the crowd cheered with gusto.
Next, President Burenheide introduced the members of the Youth Appreciation Week Committee, namely, Janna Stegmaier, Dr. Betsy Yanik, and Dr. George Durler, and led the audience in applauding them for their fine work in setting up the banquet. Janna, Betsy and George then invited the honored seniors to come to the front of the room, receive their attractive framed certificates of accomplishment, and say a few words about their plans for the future. The honorees and their aforesaid remarks were as follows:
Olpe High School--Courtney Kuhlmann, will attend Kansas State University and study kinesiology and nutrition; Brianne Davis, who is a prospective physical therapy major at the University of Kansas; Wade Schmidt, headed for Hutchinson Junior College to study fire science, and then a four year college to become a fire investigator; and Camille Webb, who will be Courtney Kuhlmann's roommate at K.S.U. Olpe High School Girls' Basketball Coach Jesse Nelson accompanied the seniors.
Northern Heights High School--Robyn Meahl, who will major in piano performance at Texas Christian University; Tess Hobson and Amy Lee, who have not decided on their respective fields of academic discipline at Emporia State University; and Erik Pracht, who will enroll at Ft. Hays State University to study agricultural business. The Northern Heights seniors were joined by counselor Ed Bowen.
Hartford High School--Logan Grieder, who will continue to strive for his associate degree in graphic arts at Flint Hills Technical College; John Roberts, a prospective agriculture technical management major at K.S.U.; Amanda Zweimiller, who will become a licensed practical nurse after attending the Flint Hills Technical College and a registered nurse after study at E.S.U., all preparatory to becoming a neo-natal nurse; and Jessica Smith, a physical science major at E.S.U. Guidance counselor Don Roberts brought the Hartford students to the banquet.
Emporia High School--Corinne Edds, headed for K.U. to study micro-biology; Joel Bland, a prospective civil engineering major at K.S.U; and Joel Christiansen, who will double major in computer science and electrical engineering, with a leadership studies minor, at Kansas State. Counselor Teesa Maley sat at table with the Spartans.
After Coach Nelson of Olpe High thanked the Flint Hills Optimist Club for the banquet and its other projects that serve area youth, and after President Burenheide wondered aloud what he will do when he grows up, the meeting concluded with a rousing rendition of the Optimist Creed, followed by photographs of the honored students being taken by Former President Stan
Fowler.
THIS NEWSLETTER IS TOO LONG--SHOW UP NEX WEEK!
A jeering crowd of seventeen was on hand as President Bob Burenheide called the April 16, 2009 meeting of the Flint Hills Optimist Club to order, with Co-Chaplain and Former President Darrell Jones delivering an exemplary Invocation and leading the audience in the Pledge of Allegiance. This week's guests were Dr. Tracey Graham, sponsored by her husband, Vice President Steve "Doc" Graham; Kevin Bonebrake, brought by his wife, Sonja Bonebrake; and Casey Woods, the guest of Former President Rich Jaggard.
After Sheriff Ken Hanson fined Vice President Graham for cautioning Kevin Bonebrake about rushing into membership in the Club, President Burenheide opened this week's meeting by passing around the Little Red Bucket which gives life by collecting money to be donated by the Optimists toward childhood cancer research. Bob told the members and guests that the Club collected $57.21 in contributions for that worthy cause during the last Optimist quarter, and will strive to amass even more in the months to come.
President Burenheide then passed around a letter from athletes who played in the March 28, 2009 Flint Hills Optimist Club High School All-Star Basketball Classic, expressing appreciation for the chance to compete one last time as high school hoop artists, and a note from the Joe Michaels Family, thanking the Club for the donation of an evening meal shortly after Mrs. Michaels' recent discharge from the hospital. President Burenheide and Former President Jaggard reported that they gave leftover Classic programs to families of players who couldn't attend the games, but had to tell one disappointed family member that the Club didn't videotape this year's Classic and therefore could do no more than check to see if Former President Mike Pruisner has a VHS of the 1991 Classic that could be used as a substitute.
President Burenheide then led the Club in thanking Former President Darrell Jones for orchestrating one of the best Flint Hills Optimist Club/Cable One Easter Egg Hunts in the history of Optimism. Darrell recounted how the weather was warm and nearly windless, the crowds were large, and the members worked together almost without a hitch, with the exception of Sheriff Ken Hanson and Vice President Graham taking an inordinately long period of time to block off the entrance to the park, leading some to suspect that Ken and Steve stopped off for liquid fortification before heading back to the hunt. Those spurious insinuations resulted in a fine or two by Sheriff Hanson. President Burenheide noted that some eighteen Optimists and sundry assorted family members showed up to help with the project, and Former President Jones estimated that the Club gave away around eighty balloons to various kids and would-be kids. Thanks also go out to Former President Michaels and Cable One for helping to underwrite the hunt.
As for the Club's fireworks exhibition schedule for 2009, President Burenheide said that Former President Bernie Toso is working on all necessary arrangements and may present a report at an upcoming meeting. Former President Mike Alpers, sneering at the Club's loss experience and laughing in the face of potential liability, is lining up an insurance package that will insulate even this Club from tort claims by disgruntled fireworks fallout victims. Bob reminded the members to download pledge forms and collect donations so that the Club can field a team or two in the Saturday, May 2, 2009 Big Brothers/Big Sisters Bowl for Kids' Sake bowling and wine-tasting festival at Flint Hills Lanes.
Dr. Betsy Yanik, Secretary-Treasurer Dr. George Durler, and Janna Stegmaier reminded all members to show up at the Union next Thursday, April 23, 2009 for the annual Flint Hills Optimist Club Youth Appreciation Week Banquet. The Optimists are urged to not only appear, but to scatter among the tables and appreciate some youth for an hour next Thursday. Former President Rich Jaggard agreed to check with the one area high school that has not nominated any seniors to be honored at the banquet, and Sheriff Ken Hanson fined Secretary-Treasurer Durler for castigating President Burenheide's family tree, then fined him again for the general principle of the thing. President Burenheide reminded the members that he e-mailed registration blanks for the April 24-26, 2009 Quarterly Board Meeting of the Kansas District of Optimist International in Manhattan, Kansas and encouraged a large contingent from our Club to attend, thereby disputing Secretary-Treasurer Dr. George Durler's facetious claim that the convention will conflict with Youth Appreciation Week.
Former President Joe Michaels publicly thanked Former President Darrell Jones for agreeing to accompany Roger, the Wish 'N Spin tycoon, when he comes to town next week to sell ads to local merchants, a percentage of the revenue of which will be paid to our Club in addition to the money that area citizens drop into the well. Joe was applauded for his skillfull management of the Sit 'N Spin, especially the part where he dives in and retrieves money and various waste materials that should be referred to the federal Superfund program.
After Sheriff Hanson fined Former President Rich Jaggard for sounding too much like Former President Stan Fowler, Rich served as Program Chairman by introducing Casey Woods as this week's guest speaker. Mr. Woods, of Madelynn's and June Cleaver's, is in his third week as the successor to Flint Hills Optimist Kayla Oney as Executive Director of Main Street. No stranger to the organization, Mr. Woods told the Club that he served nine years on the Main Street Board of Directors, including a term as President, and has an abiding interest in the health of the small business community in Emporia. Mr. Woods said that he grew up on a farm near Lebo before earning a debate scholarship to Ft. Hays State University, where he was active in Sigma Chi Fraternity and drafted the student government constitution. Mr. Woods took a semester off from college to help run the family business when his mother was down in the back, and ended up staying at Madelynn's/ June Cleaver's for eleven years.
The speaker told the Club that Main Street has often referred small business owners to him for advice on how to grow their firms and become more successful, especially in designing promotions and business enhancement strategies. Mr. Woods noted that Former President Jaggard's daughter, Becky Smith of Town Crier, will head up the Promotions Committee in the coming year, and described some of the services and programs that Main Street offers local businesses, such as zero percent loans for qualifying enterprises and the Business Enhancement Committee's Start Your Own Business class at the Flint Hills Technical College for fledgling entrepeneurs. Mr. Woods told the Optimists about some upcoming Main Street attractions, such as the Artist Walk on Saturday, April 18, 2009, featuring numerous jewelers, potters, and other local artists and six bands for the public's entertainment, and The Taste on April 25, 2009, an orgy for the taste buds in which those who shell out the entrance fee can spend the evening sampling fine foods and adult libations, including wines and even vodka produced in Kansas.
Mr. Woods said that Main Street's mission is to sustain existing businesses by making them more profitable, and ultimately to create a climate in which new firms come to Emporia's downtown area, which is one of the longest in the state. Mr. Woods added that he was President of the Board when Emporia Main Street won the prestigious Great American Main Street Award a few years back, and that Emporia's downtown has only a four per-cent first floor vacancy rate, with at least two new businesses to take root on Commercial Street this summer, and maybe even join two hundred establishments that are Main Street members. After answering questions, Mr. Woods concluded his presentation by soaking up applause from the members and receiving an Optimist mug from President Burenheide.
In a drawing put on by co-conspirators Dr. Bryan Douglas and Bobby Thompson, an exasperated Jenna Stegmaier won $3.00, a microscopic monkey and some grungy Skiittles, the latter from the Sit 'N Spin, Dr. Douglas got $4.00 and a dirty plastic egg containing even dirtier candy and a cheapo ring, Bobby Thompson drew his own number for $4.00, a rubber ball and a toxic plastic egg, and Former President Rich Jaggard won back his fine money and then some by scoring $5.00 and some candy that no one over the age of six would even touch.
The members put off recitation of the Optimist Creed until next week.
SHOW UP FOR YOUTH APPRECIATION WEEK NEXT THURSDAY AND MAKE US LOOK GOOD!
A churlish crowd of seventeen was on hand as President Bob Burenheide called the April 9, 2009 meeting of the Flint Hills Optimist Club to order. Co-Chaplain and Former President Darrell Jones delivered the Invocation and led the herd in the Pledge of Allegiance. This week's guests were Doug Ford and former Flint Hills Optimist Mike "Tax Man" Van Gorden, both sponsored by Former President Rich Jaggard. The members welcomed Mike, a regular participant in the annual Flint Hills Optimist Club Golf Classic, back to the Club, even if only for a visit.
After Tailtwister Ken "The Sheriff" Hanson invited group rebuke by not only wrongfully accusing Former President Jaggard of failing to wear his nametag but by being tardy in turning off his cell phone, President Burenheide led off this week's meeting by passing around the Little Red Bucket to collect lucre for the Optimist fight against childhood cancer and reported that the board of directors congregated for its monthly business meeting on Tuesday, April 7, 2009. Bob said that the board tabled the request of the Emporia Salvation Army for a donation in support of its summer camp program, partly because such a donation isn't included in this year's budget, and partly to give the Salvation Army a chance to send a representative to speak to the Club about its camping project. President Burenheide also told the members that Former President Bernie Toso is looking into former Flint Hills Optimist Eric Oldham's request for a fireworks shoot in Hiawatha, Kansas on June 26, 2009. The Newsletter apologizes for inadvertantly leaving Vice President Steve "Doc" Graham off the list of federally licensed fireworks exhibitionists who are members of the Flint Hills Optimist Club, along with anyone else in the Club who has attained that exalted position. Insurance magnate and Former President Mike Alpers adopted the philosophy that no news is good news, and said that he has heard nothing for months about a potential tort claim against the Club for property damage arising from the last time the Optimists put on a fireworks display. The members discussed the possibility of holding this summer's Fourth of July display out by the Jones Aquatic Center, far away from most victims of collateral damage.
President Burenheide further noted that the board tabled a proposal to donate money to the Beau Arndt Scholarship Fund, reasoning that the Club might be in a better financial position to make such a contribution next year. In other general business, Former President Rich Jaggard suggested that we invite a woman who wants to start an Optimist Club in the Cottonwood Falls-Strong City area to attend an upcoming Flint Hills Optimist Club meeting, thereby testing her mettle and seeing if she has what it takes to spread Optimism to Chase County. President Burenheide passed around a letter from Big Brothers/Big Sisters of the Filnt Hills, inviting the Optimists to field a team or two in that organization's Saturday, May 2, 2009 Bowl For Kids' Sake Bowling Classic, and Courtney Graves courted disaster by asking the Club's bowlers how many lanes they wanted to reserve and which sororities they wanted on the adjacent alleys. Courtney enticed the Club's would-be athletes with free beer and pizza, and maybe even some distilled spirits in the parking lot. The Optimist bowlers were encouraged to pick up pledge sheets from Courtney, and were allowed but not encouraged to dress up like cowboys in keeping with this year's western theme.
As for preparations for the Saturday, April 11, 2009 Flint Hills Optimist Club/Cable One Easter Egg Hunt, Egg Head and Former President Darrell Jones reported that everything is ready to go, President Burenheide has gas, Sheriff Hanson fined Former President Jaggard for clapping at the announcement that President Burenheide has gas, Kayla Oney will reprise her celebrated role as the Easter Bunny, and the Optimists were urged to meet for the pre-hunt breakfast at Coburn's at 7:00 a.m. before adjourning to Jones Park at 8:00 a.m. to set up for the egg rumble, which will start at 10:00 a.m. and be over before President Burenheide could deliver his speech welcoming the kids and parents to the park, so why even have it?
The members thanked Former President Stan Fowler for reprogramming the Club's Korean War vintage digital camera, and expressed some trepidation about young Matthew Fowler videotaping the Optimists at projects such as the Easter Egg Hunt, fearing that he and his video camera might eventually infiltrate the Club's Christmas tree lot trailer. Courtney Graves' suggestion about the Flint Hills Optimist Club appearing on Facebook didn't fare much better, although Parry Briggs perked up his ears at the possibility of marketing himself to eligible women around the country. The members were reminded to attend the Thursday, April 23, 2009 Youth Appreciation Week Banquet in force, with Secretary-Treasurer Dr. George Durler reporting that three of the four invited high schools have nominated students to be honored at the luncheon.
After circulating a letter from Camp Quality and a note from Emporia High School which thanked the Club for its donation to the after-graduation party, President Burenheide turned the lectern over to Program Chairman and Former President Rich Jaggard, who, in turn, introduced Doug Ford as this week's guest speaker. Mr. Ford, who assumed the role of Executive Direc-
tor of the Granada Theater Alliance before his school days at Emporia State University were finished, had previously announced his resignation and plans to move to Wichita, Kansas, where he will be married on May 26, 2009. Mr. Ford told the members that the Granada Theater, renovated at the cost of some $3.5 million, has been in operation for six months, with the grand reopening having taken place on October 2, 2008, seventy-nine years to the date of its original opening in 1929. The members learned that the final touches on the massive project were completed just in time, with the stage floor being painted that very morning. Mr. Ford said that since last October, the Granada has hosted some seventy-five events, including twenty in December, 2008 alone. Mr. Ford passed out copies of the Granada's quarterly newsletter and Granada Theater Supporter window decals to the members, and stated that the newly renovated facility features tiered flooring which can accomodate tables and chairs as well as theater seats. The Club learned that the Granada has hosted wedding receptions, Arts Council performances, Young Thespian Player presentations, and most recently, classic movies on the first Thursdays of each month, featuring $1.00 popcorn and $4.00 tickets. The speaker added that several weddings are planned for the coming months at the Granada.
Mr. Ford said that the Flint Hills Optimist Club was one of four hundred individuals and organizations to donate $1,000 or more to the renovation of the theater, and that the Granada Theater Alliance has received tax credits which will pay off the loan that had to be secured in order to finish refurbishing the building. Mr. Ford noted that ninety-five percent of the work and materials used in the theater project came from local businesses and contractors, and said that the only changes from the original Granada architecture and furnishings are the tiered floors and the lavish restrooms which are extremely popular with the theater-going public. After answering questions from the members, Mr. Ford received applause for his presentation and best wishes for the future from the audience, and an Optimist mug from President Burenheide.
In a weekly drawing that should have been booed off the stage, Mike Van Gorden won $2.00, $3.00 went to Vice President Steve "Island Doc" Graham, Former President Stan Fowler got $5.00, and the $7.00 break-the-bank prize went to Former President Darrell Jones.
SHOW UP AT JONES PARK ON SATURDAY TO HELP WITH THE EASTER EGG HUNT, AND DON'T MISS NEXT THURSDAY'S MEETING FOR ANYTHING SHORT OF A CABINET APPOINTMENT IN THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION!
A small but garrulous crowd of thirteen was on hand as President Bob Burenheide called the April 2, 2009 meeting of the Flint Hills Optimist Club to order. Co-Chaplain and Former President Bob Glover delivered the Invocation and led the group, which included no guests nor new members, in the Pledge of Allegiance.
After Bob passed around the Little Red Bucket and collected coins beyond measure for the Optimist campaign against childhood cancer, Former President Stan Fowler told the members that Former President Joe Michaels' wife was to be released from the hospital on April 3 after under-going successful surgery for cancer. The Flint Hills Optimists join together in wishing Mrs. Michaels all the best for a speedy recovery.
President Burenheide continued the open meeting by reporting that the March 28, 2009 Flint Hills Optimist Club High School All-Star Basketball Classic went well, especially in light of the snow and ice that fell on Emporia and the surrounding regions that day. Bob led the members in a heartfelt round of applause for the guys on the Classic Committee, to-wit: Former President Rich Jaggard, Mike Utech, Dr. Bryan Douglas, Jeff Kitselman, and Parry Briggs, for their excellent work in planning and coordinating this year's event. Secretary-Treasurer Dr. George Durler noted that he discovered a hefty bonus when he banked the Classic receipts, but his hopes for a record-setting profit were dashed when Former President Fowler reminded him that the printing bill for the programs has yet to be received. George added that we managed to sell ninety-six and one-half programs to the spectators this year, even receiving an unsolicited donation from honored guests who were entitled to freebies but insisted on paying.
Former President Rich Jaggard acknowledged the receipt of a note from Kody Paul, one of the players, who thanked the Optimists for the opportunity to participate in the Classic. Dr. Durler drew general agreement from the members when he suggested that in the future we provide photos to be displayed on the new video system in White Auditorium, and Former President Fowler announced that his whiz kid son, Matthew, is already working on producing Optimist videos that might be suitable for public viewing at future projects. The members discussed the need for acquiring a rechargeable battery and a memory card for the Club's digital camera. Janna Stegmaier, who was reluctantly designated as the Keeper of the Camera for the Flint Hills Optimist Club some time ago, offered to turn it back in for a technical upgrade, and suggested that there would be no big hurry in returning the camera to her. President Burenheide proposed that a manual or centralized file be prepared so that all of the steps and procedures necessary for a successful Classic can be found in one place for future planning purposes.
The Club then engaged in an analysis of the best way to produce future Classic programs, with some noting that even though the production costs charged by Navrat's escalated this year, that firm's workmanship and willingness to accept late changes and additions may justify the additional expense. Mike Utech issued a call for the members of the 2010 Classic Committee, whomsoever they may be, to promptly begin making plans for next year's games, and especially to resolve the program issue. Those present at last Saturday's event estimated paid attendance at about three hundred seventy. The Classic Committee thanked all members who gave of their
time to help put the project together, especially Robert Novak and Bobby Thompson, new members who stepped up and contributed greatly to its success.
As for the Saturday, April 11, 2009 Flint Hills Optimist Club/Cable One Easter Egg Hunt, Former President Stan Fowler reported that promotional flyers would be distributed to schools and day care centers the next day and the following Monday, President Burenheide pledged to bring the helium just as soon as he could find the big gas bottle which is used to hold and trans- port it, along with balloons and plastic eggs, and Former President Jones has the balloon clip situation well in hand. All members are urged to show up at Jones Park on April 11 at 8:00 a.m. to set up for the Hunt.
In other Club business, President Burenheide reminded the members that former Flint Hills Optimist Eric Oldham is desirous of having our Club put on a fireworks shoot in Hiawatha, Kansas on or about June 22, 2009, and that the board will consider the issue at its upcoming meeting. The members then embarked on a fireworks discussion, noting that Former Presidents Stan Fowler and Joe Michaels have undergone the training for shooter's licenses and only need to take the test in Topeka, Kansas before they can legally blow stuff up under the auspices of the big fireworks outfit in Inman, Kansas, but that only Former President Bernie Toso has the expertise to conduct and supervise shoots for the Club.
Dr. Betsy Yanik then told the members that letters asking for nominees to be honored at the April 23, 2009 Flint Hills Optimist Club Youth Appreciation Week banquet have been sent, and replies have so far been received from Emporia and Northern Heights High Schools. Y.A.W. Committee Co-Chairwoman Janna Stegmaier has arranged for the luncheon to be held in the Flint Hills Room of the E.S.U. Memorial Union.
President Burenheide reminded all board members, officers, and garden variety members with nothing better to do that the monthly board meeting will take place at the E.S.U. Union at noon on Tuesday, April 7, 2009, and Reporting Secretary and Former President Rich Jaggard challenged the members to actually read the minutes of the previous meeting beforehand. Dr. Bryan Douglas posed the possibility of the Club holding a fundraising softball tournament this summer, with Ron "This Bud's For You" Whitney to cater the adult beverages for the players, and the members made plans for various speakers to address upcoming Thursday meetings, including Chamber of Commerce C.E.O. Jeanine McKenna, departing Granada Theater Executive Director Doug Ford, new Main Street Director Casey Woods, Bob and Christine Arndt, and a representative of the Salvation Army's summer camp program.
In a weekly drawing that should have been administered by the I.R.S. on April 15, Dr. Bryan Douglas got $1.50 in quarters, $2.00 went to Drawing Master Parry Briggs, President Burenheide won $4.00, and the $5.00 illegal tax deduction prize went to Former President Rich Jaggard.
SHOW UP NEXT THURSDAY OR DO THIRTY DAYS HARD TIME!
